Success Lies in the Effort

I've been dragging lately, as most of you know. I've been feeling rather shlumpy and down. The main reason there seem to be so many loose ends (that seem to be ganging up together to form a noose), is that I've lost my drive. I've given up, albeit most assuredly temporarily, on solving a lot of my problems. I seem to be just waiting for most of them to magically disappear...

Well, reality has the power to find its way into one's brain, no matter how long you try to push it out. I came across a quote (and you know how much I love my God-planted quotes) to reflect on, from Albert Einstein:


It's not that I'm so smart; it's just that I stay with problems longer.



The key to getting things done is always persistence. If one wants anything ever done, one obviously must make the effort, or start brewing up a magical potion (and unfortunately, I'm fresh out of eye of newt).

My point? Just keep trying. Baby step to success. Where there's a will, there is a way. The journey of a thousand miles blah blah blah. (Insert like inspirational quotes here.)

While fighting one's way out of the doldrums seems an impossible task when deep in them, a little effort goes a long way. One step leads to two and so on...Success is truly an inevitability as long as one makes a continuous effort, no matter how tiny.


p.s. This was a lecture to myself, but feel free to be inspired.

Why I Left Christianity

I was raised Christian, specifically Catholic. I went through the sacraments and tried my best to believe in the faith. I have always believed in God (because it is the only logical conclusion to the question of existence), it was just that I found so much fault with dogma.

The doctrines of Christianity are based in the Bible. The problem I have with the Bible is that its origins are so ambiguous and disjointed. The original texts of the gospels are long gone, with only second-hand copies barely themselves surviving the hands of time. And the Good Book itself, if one reads it honestly and objectively, is choppy in substance and chronology. I also take issue with the necessary assumption that all of the original authors were inspired by God. To believe whole-heartily in the Bible isn't a leap of faith, it's a leap of faith off of the leap of faith of others twice removed.

While doubt itself is the foundation of faith (otherwise, it would be fact), my relationship with God could not thrive while it rested in having to have faith in the faith others found in other people. The distance between myself and God felt too great, as well as overwhelmingly artificial and man-made.

This is not an attack on Christianity, as the same issues apply across the board with all organized religions. The human input which made these religions "organized" is the exact thing that creates so much distance between oneself and God, not only for myself, but for a lot of people. Traditions and rituals are wonderful and enriching, provided they truly provide a vehicle to feel closer to God, and are not simply followed because "that's just the way it is done" or "because the Bible says so."

If a faith cannot sufficiently field the question of "why," particularly when it comes to its own dogma and rituals, then there is a problem. If a faith fears the questions posed via the various fields of science, rather than embraces all that is science (as God is Truth, and science is simply the pursuit of truth), then there is a problem. If the majority of one's time is spent in insuring one is following all of the rules, rubrics, and traditions of a faith and not focused on the Joy that is God, there is most definitely a problem.

Am I against organized religions? Absolutely not. The above are just problems I had with them personally and why they could not work for me with the kind of relationship I want with God. I adore all good people of all faiths who try to live God-centered lives. I am extremely happy for those who can find deep and meaningful connections with God through organized religions. Faith is always a personal journey; sometimes your path parallels the path of others and sometimes it does not. My path does not, which is why I left Christianity. God be with you on your journey, no matter your path to God.

In the Face of Maliciousness

My blog was out of commission the last couple days because it was under attack by what I initially believed was a direct hack. Turns out, the hosting site's gadgets are vulnerable to being hacked, and I happened to have had a ton of them on my blog. After removing all of the affected gadgets, my blog seems to be back up and running.

So what is the motivation of people who do things like this? What causes someone to be malicious, especially to innocent strangers? General bitterness? Anger? Frustration? Boredom? A dark, unexamined conscience? I suppose the answer is between the perpetrator and God.

I would love it if this world didn't have people who were motivated by evil, yet I suppose without them, the rest of us wouldn't look so good. I kid, of course, although I think there is some truth in that there is purpose in having those kinds of people around. The rest of us learn wonderful lessons in patience, prayer, and forgiveness, as well as important lessons in self-defense and survival.

All things have reason. It is just rather unfortunate that most of the time the reasons only reveal themselves in hindsight. This can be quite frustrating while in the middle of dealing with difficult situations or people. I know this is true for me, and is yet another lesson in faith. I must remember to trust in God at all times, not just when things are going smoothly. Sometimes you've got to cross rocky and dangerous terrain to reach a beautiful and peaceful meadow. It is infinitely better to have a difficult path to your goal than no path at all. I must learn to embrace this truth: God always provides the path one needs.

Shades of Gray and Other Life Lessons

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I've been doing some serious examination of conscience. With God's insight, I have come to understand that one of the key goals of this life is to learn the lessons that God has designed for each of us individually.

While I have many, many things yet to learn, I am getting better at identifying the key lessons. I am thick headed, so I don't learn them quickly, but at least I can point them out in a line up.

For example, I know God has been trying to teach me about appreciating and living in the gray. I have had a tendency for as long as I've been born to view everything in black and white. Either something is all or it's none; either it's perfect or it's worthless; either it's beautiful or it's ugly, etc. What God has pointed out to me is that very little ever reaches either extreme. Life is nearly fully contained in the middle, in the gray. If you can't appreciate and embrace the gray, then you miss out on a ton of what it means to live. And I have.

But life ain't over 'til it's over, so as long as I'm around, I can learn these things, even if it's one tiny baby step at a time. (Too much change all at once, not unlike fire to Frankenstein, frightens and confuses me).

I have other personal lessons, too, which God wants me to grasp. Like about judging people and about being vulnerable, among a handful of others. God has our life lessons individually tailored for optimal growth and enlightenment. All we have to do is open our hearts and minds to what God is trying to teach us. Most certainly easier said than done in this busy, chaotic world, but a little quiet reflection goes a long ways. Best of luck to us all in graduating through life with honors.

Confucius and More Reflections of Self

I've been having to dig excruciatingly deep, as of late, in examining my soul. I spend a lot time ruing what is lacking in myself, and still expect perfection, even though I am fully aware I can never attain it (being human and all), hence the emotional distress and self-flagellation. If it weren't for my own torment, I'd have none at all, but I digress...I came across a quote from Confucius the other day, which was:


I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being.


It didn't sound like the vague inspirational quotes I am used to from Confucius, so I went and did some research, and verified that it was indeed a quote from him. But God has a great tendency with me to highlight, as if with a bright yellow highlighter, the things I need to pay attention to. In researching the above quote, I came across two others that I knew God wanted me to reflect on as well:


They must change who would be constant in happiness and wisdom.

...and...

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.


While these three quotes collectively don't seem to add up together, they actually meld perfectly to give me the exact counsel I have been needing. While I have come a tremendous ways towards being a much better person over the last year, God is definitely pointing me in the path of further growth, and that it is crucial for me to fully examine my heart and take steps in being everything I truly am, in my good and wonderful God-given nature. This is going to require change, actual effort, risk, and being fully honest with myself in all ways. God loves me, of this I am certain; I just have to learn to earnestly love myself. I still plan on changing the world for the better, but that change must first begin internally. God most definitely has a plan, I just have to open fully to it. And I will get there. God be with you, too, on your path.

The Joy of True Friendship

Today is my bff's 40th burfday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BFF!!! Considering he is one of the two people who read this blog, I'm going to personalize this entry a bit by reflecting on what it has meant to have him in my life for the last 25 years.

My bff is the greatest guy I know. He is smart, kind, lives by his heart, and has love and compassion that dwarfs mine considerably. He has been a blessing a million times over and has come to my rescue in similar numbers. He has helped me move every time I have relocated around the state, which is MANY, and has been good-natured every time, even when I have dropped stuff on his feet. He is generous to a fault and incredibly patient with me as I have been a roller coaster of drama and issues over the years. Why he has stuck by me over these decades puzzles me, but it's best not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I just count my blessings from God, and he's most definitely among my most favorite.

And while 40 is generally considered a milestone of midlife, I would like to share some words from Albert Einstein with my dear, dear friend that reflect the true sentiment of aging:


People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.


To have a friendship so enduring is one of the greatest joys in the life. I wish my bff at least 100 more birthdays, as you never know what God has in store. I love you. Buon compleanno, mio fratello! (Gotta start practicing your Italian :) )