The Joy of Weeds and the Beauty in Beige

As the weather is turning more welcoming, I've been taking walks on some of my breaks at work. I went for a walk the other day around the park near my work. There was a gorgeous break in the rain, so I decided to take advantage of it. While I walked around the perimeter of the park, I soaked in all of God's gifts as fully as I could. It was lovely.

While walking around the park, I started to intently study all of the different weeds, as the park is largely unlandscaped. The more I studied them, the more the weeds became more interesting, and more beautiful. There was such an incredible variety of shapes, sizes, textures, colors, designs...and I also came to realize that they actually weren't all weeds at all, some of them were wild flowers. There were yellow ones, purple bell ones, fire red ones that looked like flames, delicate pink ones, and teeny blue ones. It was as if God were putting on a show of God's abilities in creating variety in nature. I was in awe.

While leaving the park, in complement to the beautiful sky blue, a beige bird flew overhead. It was in no hurry, and the wind was helping it takes its time towards its destination. It was about 10 feet over my head, so I was able to study it a bit; it was a gorgeous beige color, with darker and lighter shades highlighting its wings and its neck. I was actually overcome with how lovely it was, this specimen of bird I had never seen before. When it finally landed on the sidewalk 30 feet or so from me, I was actually able to identify what kind of bird it was. I laughed heartily to myself, as it was a simple pigeon!

I guess my point in all of this is that God is throwing at you an incredible array of creation. Simply open your eyes and heart fully, and embrace how much God loves you through the art God provides through nature. God is beautiful. Be well.

Asking God "Why"

I spend a lot of time--too much, for sure--pondering the mysteries of God. It just fascinates the heck out of me how all of this, i.e. all of creation, came into being. How was the universe created? How could everything, as big as billions of galaxies, possibly come from a single point in space and time? How big is it, really? How far off is science in understanding even the basics of Your works? Is there any life of any form out there, or are we THAT unique? Beyond all of these mechanical questions, however, my greatest question has always been "why?" Why do we even exist at all? I have been asking this of God for many years, always expecting, or even demanding an answer, as selfish as I know that sounds. But God finally answered, but with a strong request.

First, the request...lighten up! I hear this quite a bit from God, but God, unfortunately, has to continually remind me. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

But when I heard the answer to why, my scientific brain took issue, hence the request to lighten up. The answer: there doesn't need to be an answer. God is love, and God loves us beyond any fathomable ability we have to understand that kind of love. It is beyond the maximum capacity of logic or reason or quantifiable definition. Love needs no reason. The answer to "why"...because God loves us.

So relax, lighten up, and just appreciate as fully as you can the beautiful gifts of life, the universe, and everything with which you were blessed. Sure, continue to puzzle out the mechanics for mental exercise, but don't forget that the actual answer doesn't lie with equations or theorems; the answer lies with the quacks of a line of ducklings swimming behind their mother on a misty pond, it lies with the joyful giggle of a child being tickled by his adoring parent, it lies in the perfection of a Spring lily, it lies in feeling the sweet ocean breeze while listening to the entrancing rhythm of the surf with your eyes closed. It lies with heroic acts of bravery and in random acts of kindness and in heart-felt smiles. And it lies with remembering that God is the source of it all.

Thanks be to God.

The Joy of Depression in Springtime

Sorry I've been away so long, friends. My work life has changed drastically recently, and as a result, my regular blog time has diminished greatly. But alas, where there's a will...

And, as both of you know, my two dear readers, I've been struggling with depression. I know I've been dumb, as it's practically sinful to be so glum when I've been blessed so severely, but as I have come to accept, some of my depression is due to actual bio-chemistry, as clinical depression runs in my family. But alas, I'm shaking off the doldrums pretty effectively as of late, and I have to give God thanks.

Spring has become my new favorite season. It used to be Fall, with it's cooler temps, great holidays, coziness, great color scheme, and wonderful family times. But Spring is the season of hope. And hope is everything.

Spring is when life thrives at its most accelerated pace. Spring is when flowers explode the landscape with gorgeous colors. It's when the trees begin to once again green the horizons (Yes, I did just use green as a verb). It's when you start hearing the birds, seeing the squirrels and other native wildlife, and feeling the life-affirming sun on your skin in earnest for the first time in many months. It's when blue skies begin showing up regularly. It's when the ground once again is a willing incubator of life. It is when hope is at its climax, giving one a true feeling that anything is possible.

Dramatic much? I grant you that I am, but regardless, I am thankful to God that hope is eternally present, even when it takes a new season for me to appreciate it. God is unfathomably generous and kind. God is love. Love be with you always.

Success Lies in the Effort

I've been dragging lately, as most of you know. I've been feeling rather shlumpy and down. The main reason there seem to be so many loose ends (that seem to be ganging up together to form a noose), is that I've lost my drive. I've given up, albeit most assuredly temporarily, on solving a lot of my problems. I seem to be just waiting for most of them to magically disappear...

Well, reality has the power to find its way into one's brain, no matter how long you try to push it out. I came across a quote (and you know how much I love my God-planted quotes) to reflect on, from Albert Einstein:


It's not that I'm so smart; it's just that I stay with problems longer.



The key to getting things done is always persistence. If one wants anything ever done, one obviously must make the effort, or start brewing up a magical potion (and unfortunately, I'm fresh out of eye of newt).

My point? Just keep trying. Baby step to success. Where there's a will, there is a way. The journey of a thousand miles blah blah blah. (Insert like inspirational quotes here.)

While fighting one's way out of the doldrums seems an impossible task when deep in them, a little effort goes a long way. One step leads to two and so on...Success is truly an inevitability as long as one makes a continuous effort, no matter how tiny.


p.s. This was a lecture to myself, but feel free to be inspired.

Why I Left Christianity

I was raised Christian, specifically Catholic. I went through the sacraments and tried my best to believe in the faith. I have always believed in God (because it is the only logical conclusion to the question of existence), it was just that I found so much fault with dogma.

The doctrines of Christianity are based in the Bible. The problem I have with the Bible is that its origins are so ambiguous and disjointed. The original texts of the gospels are long gone, with only second-hand copies barely themselves surviving the hands of time. And the Good Book itself, if one reads it honestly and objectively, is choppy in substance and chronology. I also take issue with the necessary assumption that all of the original authors were inspired by God. To believe whole-heartily in the Bible isn't a leap of faith, it's a leap of faith off of the leap of faith of others twice removed.

While doubt itself is the foundation of faith (otherwise, it would be fact), my relationship with God could not thrive while it rested in having to have faith in the faith others found in other people. The distance between myself and God felt too great, as well as overwhelmingly artificial and man-made.

This is not an attack on Christianity, as the same issues apply across the board with all organized religions. The human input which made these religions "organized" is the exact thing that creates so much distance between oneself and God, not only for myself, but for a lot of people. Traditions and rituals are wonderful and enriching, provided they truly provide a vehicle to feel closer to God, and are not simply followed because "that's just the way it is done" or "because the Bible says so."

If a faith cannot sufficiently field the question of "why," particularly when it comes to its own dogma and rituals, then there is a problem. If a faith fears the questions posed via the various fields of science, rather than embraces all that is science (as God is Truth, and science is simply the pursuit of truth), then there is a problem. If the majority of one's time is spent in insuring one is following all of the rules, rubrics, and traditions of a faith and not focused on the Joy that is God, there is most definitely a problem.

Am I against organized religions? Absolutely not. The above are just problems I had with them personally and why they could not work for me with the kind of relationship I want with God. I adore all good people of all faiths who try to live God-centered lives. I am extremely happy for those who can find deep and meaningful connections with God through organized religions. Faith is always a personal journey; sometimes your path parallels the path of others and sometimes it does not. My path does not, which is why I left Christianity. God be with you on your journey, no matter your path to God.

In the Face of Maliciousness

My blog was out of commission the last couple days because it was under attack by what I initially believed was a direct hack. Turns out, the hosting site's gadgets are vulnerable to being hacked, and I happened to have had a ton of them on my blog. After removing all of the affected gadgets, my blog seems to be back up and running.

So what is the motivation of people who do things like this? What causes someone to be malicious, especially to innocent strangers? General bitterness? Anger? Frustration? Boredom? A dark, unexamined conscience? I suppose the answer is between the perpetrator and God.

I would love it if this world didn't have people who were motivated by evil, yet I suppose without them, the rest of us wouldn't look so good. I kid, of course, although I think there is some truth in that there is purpose in having those kinds of people around. The rest of us learn wonderful lessons in patience, prayer, and forgiveness, as well as important lessons in self-defense and survival.

All things have reason. It is just rather unfortunate that most of the time the reasons only reveal themselves in hindsight. This can be quite frustrating while in the middle of dealing with difficult situations or people. I know this is true for me, and is yet another lesson in faith. I must remember to trust in God at all times, not just when things are going smoothly. Sometimes you've got to cross rocky and dangerous terrain to reach a beautiful and peaceful meadow. It is infinitely better to have a difficult path to your goal than no path at all. I must learn to embrace this truth: God always provides the path one needs.

Shades of Gray and Other Life Lessons

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I've been doing some serious examination of conscience. With God's insight, I have come to understand that one of the key goals of this life is to learn the lessons that God has designed for each of us individually.

While I have many, many things yet to learn, I am getting better at identifying the key lessons. I am thick headed, so I don't learn them quickly, but at least I can point them out in a line up.

For example, I know God has been trying to teach me about appreciating and living in the gray. I have had a tendency for as long as I've been born to view everything in black and white. Either something is all or it's none; either it's perfect or it's worthless; either it's beautiful or it's ugly, etc. What God has pointed out to me is that very little ever reaches either extreme. Life is nearly fully contained in the middle, in the gray. If you can't appreciate and embrace the gray, then you miss out on a ton of what it means to live. And I have.

But life ain't over 'til it's over, so as long as I'm around, I can learn these things, even if it's one tiny baby step at a time. (Too much change all at once, not unlike fire to Frankenstein, frightens and confuses me).

I have other personal lessons, too, which God wants me to grasp. Like about judging people and about being vulnerable, among a handful of others. God has our life lessons individually tailored for optimal growth and enlightenment. All we have to do is open our hearts and minds to what God is trying to teach us. Most certainly easier said than done in this busy, chaotic world, but a little quiet reflection goes a long ways. Best of luck to us all in graduating through life with honors.