A Reflection on Self

I was reading the recent Dear Colleague letter from my favorite cultural geographer/philosopher, Yi-Fu Tuan, when I came across something I knew God wanted me to reflect over:


All of us have felt at some stage in life that we lack something essential to happiness that others have–good looks, happy marriage, vocational success, and such like. George Santayana restores our equanimity by saying, “what we miss may be enjoyed or attained by someone else: why isn’t that just as good? And there is no regret, either, in the sense of wishing the past to return, or missing it: it is quite real enough as it is, there at its own date and place.”


I have been my own worst critic, as of late, as far as poor choices and living my life with so much still lacking. I have so many ideas and dreams of what would be wonderful and have been living as if my life is incomplete, like these missing things will finally make me whole and happy. It was not until I read Yi-Fu Tuan's letter that I realized that my perspective has been very selfish. Every single thing I long for--a loving spouse, some joyful children, a meaningful job, perhaps a vegetable garden that doesn't thrive on dying--are being fully enjoyed and appreciated my many other people, the world over. I should find great joy that the things I would find as wonderful blessings from God are exactly that, but for others. This way of thinking gives me great peace. And that's why God wanted me reflect on Tuan's letter. The blessings I long for have been bestowed, and cherished, by other people. And for the love of others, that brings me joy.

Finding contentment in "my" blessings being bestowed on others does not mean I give up and not strive for wonderfulness or not be open to God providing these same blessings to me, it just means I can finally allow myself to be happy and not stress over what I do not have. I am one step closer to living joyfully not having to beat myself up over what I have deemed as lacking in my life. God has blessed me a million different ways, in ways others long for. I indeed have an embarrassment of my own blessings. God is wise and generous. Be well.

Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

On my way to work this morning, I heard a siren. As it came into view, I saw that it was a fire truck, followed my an EMS truck. Something bad was going down, someone was obviously hurt...I began to pray, as I tend to do when I hear sirens.

I pray for the safety and recovery of the affected parties of the emergency, as well as the safety and well being of the emergency response teams. But this morning, when I was dwelling on the injured or possibly dead victims, God stepped in...

Why is it that you just dwell on the potential bad that has happened and not rejoice that help is on the way? It is ALWAYS a blessing to hear sirens, as it means those who do need help will be getting it very soon.

(Good morning, sir, this is your wake up call...)

I wasn't even aware that my thinking in this regard was so pessimistic until God pointed this out to me. I am now going to reflect even more over all of my thinking and actions to examine whether or not they come from a positive and optimistic place or someplace more dreary. My goal is to be full of joy and positivity at all times, so I truly appreciate this insight from God. God is so good and kind and generous! Be well, my friends, and always look towards the light.

Always Have a Goal

One of my dear friends from work is retiring next week, and when people ask her what she's going to be doing with all her new found free time, she replies, "I haven't thought about it."

I'm a little concerned for her. Even though she's a rather dynamic person, and even quite spiritual, I worry that she's not going to have something driving her day-to-day life, like a day job has to this point. I fear she's not going to have the motivation to thrive.

When I went through the Investment in Excellence training last summer at my work, one of the points they made is that people without goals die rather rapidly. You always must be living with something you are thriving to reach, which is why, in great part, people who retire and people who are widow(er)s die so soon after the event.

Life is a journey, a path. And if you don't have a destination you would like to reach, then your path has no direction, no meaning. Use your imagination and dare to dream big. And try to make it happen. Because you never know...

I am blessed with an abundance of things to look forward to. I have some great trips coming this summer and years of surprises to come. I am especially looking forward to our next family cruise, even if it's years away. It's a beautiful and fun way to spend time with loved ones. It is joy.

Make plans. Not just any plans, though. Make plans that fill you with excitement and joy and drive you to a giddy and gleeful place. Thrive like crazy.

Salvation Lies in Humility

As y'all know full well, I'm pretty much a perpetual roller coaster of emotion; there are times I'm so full of joy and happiness, I actually fear my heart will burst, and then there are times I'm so down and full of despair, I fear the candle of hope has been permanently snuffed. But that's the nature of our humanity, in large measure, I suppose.

I was praying earlier today, feeling remorseful and quite low for being such a repetitive failure at maintaining my best effort of staying on the good and righteous path, when God stepped in. God tends to save me from the downward spirals at the exact moment I need salvation. Funny, how that works, but I digress...God let me know it is in the fact that I truly feel unworthy of God's infinite love and mercy which makes me worthy. Huh? (Yeah, I was confused, too.) God shared with me that God adores those who are humble, yet try and strive and yearn to do right and good things and stumble down the path towards unity with God. Because it is only through humility that one can accept that there is always room for improvement. It is only through humility that one can appreciate one's position in relation to God. It is only through humility that one can truly have faith.

I know there are many people in all walks of faith who have completely convinced themselves that God is 100% behind them. Although, that kind of arrogance only leads to stunted personal growth and/or harm to others, as displayed by religious extremists.

I know I have been like that. But as I've become older and wiser, I have come to realize that it was self-righteousness, not God-centered righteousness. I have come to realize that my salvation--as well as the salvation of all humanity--is entirely up to God. God willing, we will all be welcomed into union with God after we pass from this world. God willing indeed.

Do You Have Impeccable Integrity?

I do, at times. Although sometimes not. My goal is to live the rest of my many decades (God willing) with impeccable integrity. But you may be asking: what does this even mean?

Impeccable integrity is essentially living without shame. Oh sure, lots of people live without shame nowadays in this rather hedonistic society, but that is not living without shame, that's living with the ability to ignore or suppress shame or being arrogant enough not to bother caring about one's wrongdoings. There is a BIG difference.

I'm not here to cast stones, as my house is most certainly made of single-pane glass, I'm just here to try to get people to reflect a bit about their honor (myself definitely included).

Sure, most of the time, I am a good guy. I keep my word, try to be kind and generous to all, and never try to harm others intentionally. But does that mean I have impeccable integrity? Hardly. I have lots of shame, most of which surrounds being wasteful (especially with my time). Shame is what God has implanted in each of us to keep us in line with God's will. Shame is your conscience's way of letting you know you're off track with God.

I will be most definitely working on my issues and will get back to having impeccable integrity. The best way to get there is to stay focused on God and reflect on whether or not God would be happy with one's activities. But to bring a more tangible visualization to the table, just think that there are cameras every single place you go and that everything you say and do is being televised to your family, friends, and all of humanity. If you don't have shame at that point, then your integrity is most definitely impeccable. God, please give us all the strength to lead perfectly honorable lives. Remember: only with God is this possible.

Life is Wabi-Sabi

I can probably speak for most of humanity by saying that I would love it if everything were perfect. I would love it if people never got sick, suffered, or died. I would love it if everyone had enough food, clothing, and shelter. I would love it if everyone treated one another with kindness and deep respect. I would love it if things didn't break down and need repair. I'm pretty sure we would all love such a utopia.

But alas, that's more a description of the afterlife than of our reality. Our world is much tougher to navigate, much rougher around the edges (as well as in the center). Which got me thinking about wabi-sabi...

In its simplest form, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection, incomplete, and impermanent. It embraces the profundity in nature, and of embracing the natural cycle of birth, growth, decay, and death. It tends to be simple, slow, and uncluttered. And it reveres authenticity above all. Wabi-sabi is much more the idea of a flea market, rather than a warehouse store; more about aged wood than Pergo; hand-made paper over glass. It celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind. It reminds us that we are all simply transient beings on this planet and that our bodies as well as the material world around us are in the process of returning to the dust from which we came. Through wabi-sabi, we learn to embrace liver spots, rust, and frayed edges, and the march of time they represent. Wabi-sabi doesn't simply accept these things as the inevitabilities of life, but embrace them as true badges of honor of a life fully lived.

I've had a long history of being an all-or-nothing type of person. If I can't do something perfectly, why bother at all, I used to think. Thanks to God for helping me mature and realize that living a "perfect" life is quite literally impossible. Sure, striving to do one's best is very important, but equally important is not beating oneself up for not reaching "perfect," as only God can be such. Life is a perpetual battle between being knocked down, and dusting oneself off. As Confucius put it:


"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."


May God continue to give us all the strength to do so. Yes, life can be agonizingly painful and difficult, but turning to God gives one the hope that getting up again after we do fall will be well worth it.

Understanding Money

My present financial issues have got me thinking quite a bit about money lately. And, as my modus operandi, I tend to delve into nuance. Money, as important as it is to all people around the globe, is a truly funny thing, if you think about it.

Money is composed of a mix of paper bills and coins. The paper bills aren't actually paper, per se, but a mix of cotton and linen (mostly). Coins are made from metals of various types, including nickel, zinc, steel, copper, etc.

Back in the olden days, the currency you held in your hand had true and real value. Coins were made of more precious metals, like gold and silver, and carried their worth with them, which allowed for full and immediate transfer of value. Paper currency used to represent real gold (or in some cases, silver) in vaults in the care of the federal government, each bill essentially being a certificate of ownership of that amount of gold (or silver) in said vaults. In 1971, however, the connection between the tangible commodities and the currency was permanently severed by Richard Nixon. Now, we are on what is called the fiat system, in which currency is intrinsically useless, however still serves as a medium of exchange.

In its true essence, currency, i.e. money, is useless. You can't eat it. You can't wear it (effectively, anyways). You can't use it for shelter. I suppose you could burn it to stay warm, but would need a great deal of it to do this effectively.

Money is simply a theoretical creation of humans. It only has value because society has collectively deemed it so. Money, in its bare utilitarian nature, is a means to an end. The sole benefit of money is that it can be used to obtain goods and services.

My wise Grandma used to tell us kids, "Money is the root of all evil." This common saying is actually a misquote from the Bible, from the book of Timothy (6:10):


For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.


It is not money that is the root of all evil, as this quote states, it is actually selfishness. Selfishness, such as monetary greed, is where all sin originates. [The Revelation from God (http://www.scribd.com/doc/18001638/Revelation-from-God) discusses selfishness and sin further.]

Being driven to accumulate significant amounts of money is not bad, in itself, provided it is not for selfish reasons. Some seek money to provide for loved ones. Some seek money to not stress about ones daily needs. Some seek money to share and help and provide for those who cannot do so for themselves or have needs they themselves cannot meet. Money, when used properly, is a good and beautiful thing.

As I have been going through a financial crunch since my roommate moved out, I have become much more acutely aware of the difference between "want" and "need." I have cut back and reduced my expenditures in many ways and realize I wasted a lot of money on frivolous things. God always has a reason, and I have learned that frugality is actually the way God would like us all to live. That is not to say not to have money, but just not to be so wasteful with what we do have. This lesson has truly been a blessing, as I am a better person now because of it.

Reflecting on Wisdom from Harper Lee

Although she only published one novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, which won the Pulitzer Prize in 1961 (and is one of my most favorite books), Harper Lee has shared with the world some very poignant and earthy insight and wisdom. I came across a quote from her the other day, which, as usual, seems as if it were a quote God picked out specifically for me to grow from. The quote is:


"Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."


As regular readers of my blog are aware, my roommate moved out early December, under most unpleasant circumstances. Since then, having my surgery, and Christmas, and New Years, and recovery almost completely behind me, I now have a golden opportunity to get fully re-centered on God and reflect on reconciling my thoughts, words, and deeds with my conscience, where God is fully present. I am a good person, sure, but I could be so much better. And that's why God put this quote before me. Before I can live with someone else, be it roommate or spouse, I must get myself in proper order. And besides, I can always live more fully, do more, live more beautifully, and do so much more to spread the joy of God.

Like the quote above reiterates, one's conscience isn't a democracy or subject to what is moral according to a popularity contest; it is one's real and direct connection with God, who defines goodness itself. Not to get into a political discussion, but there are quite a few things that society has deemed legal, and by default considers "moral," even though I am fully aware that God is not in accord. But I digress (yet again)...

No one can hide from God, as God lies in wait perpetually in our consciences. Sure, we can attempt to ignore God's presence, but eventually you either give in, give up, or go insane fighting it. I choose to give in to God.



["Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." This quote, from To Kill a Mockingbird, is so soulfully beautiful, I couldn't resist posting it.]