A Reflection on Self

I was reading the recent Dear Colleague letter from my favorite cultural geographer/philosopher, Yi-Fu Tuan, when I came across something I knew God wanted me to reflect over:


All of us have felt at some stage in life that we lack something essential to happiness that others have–good looks, happy marriage, vocational success, and such like. George Santayana restores our equanimity by saying, “what we miss may be enjoyed or attained by someone else: why isn’t that just as good? And there is no regret, either, in the sense of wishing the past to return, or missing it: it is quite real enough as it is, there at its own date and place.”


I have been my own worst critic, as of late, as far as poor choices and living my life with so much still lacking. I have so many ideas and dreams of what would be wonderful and have been living as if my life is incomplete, like these missing things will finally make me whole and happy. It was not until I read Yi-Fu Tuan's letter that I realized that my perspective has been very selfish. Every single thing I long for--a loving spouse, some joyful children, a meaningful job, perhaps a vegetable garden that doesn't thrive on dying--are being fully enjoyed and appreciated my many other people, the world over. I should find great joy that the things I would find as wonderful blessings from God are exactly that, but for others. This way of thinking gives me great peace. And that's why God wanted me reflect on Tuan's letter. The blessings I long for have been bestowed, and cherished, by other people. And for the love of others, that brings me joy.

Finding contentment in "my" blessings being bestowed on others does not mean I give up and not strive for wonderfulness or not be open to God providing these same blessings to me, it just means I can finally allow myself to be happy and not stress over what I do not have. I am one step closer to living joyfully not having to beat myself up over what I have deemed as lacking in my life. God has blessed me a million different ways, in ways others long for. I indeed have an embarrassment of my own blessings. God is wise and generous. Be well.