Time for some tough love (especially on myself)...
Understand this: the only way to reach your goals, improve your life, or get the things you want in life is through hard work and sacrifice. There is no other way. Really and truly. The only way for things to get better is to WORK toward making them better. Seems overwhelming, verdad?
Mais non! If you truly and really want to improve your life in any area, be it your work life, family life, financial life, social life, or spiritual life, you need to get a clear picture of where you want things to be better. Spend time exploring what "better" factually and visually looks like. IF it is truly and really a goal you really want to achieve, then why are you not going for them right now? Why do you only talk about a better life, situation, or environment? If it's something that you really and truly want, how are you not taking steps THIS VERY SECOND to achieve your constructive and positive goals? If you are not jumpin' to get jumpin' to make up a plan of attack and get after your goals, reflect on whether or not they are really what you want. Reflect on in with God, allowing God's input via your conscience.
And getting to your goals is way easier than you think. Make a very specific step-by-step plan to achieve your goal, and if that what doesn't work, make another, and another until you get there. Focus on having the goal, not the path it took to get there. Baby steps are easy. Just take them one at a time, doing each with full focus. In no time, you will succeed. God's guidance be with you.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Abandoning Your Selfishness
As discussed in the Revelation from God, selfishness is essentially the root of all sins. A very crucial thing you need to fully appreciate is the fact that God does not allow selfishness in heaven. There is no room for it. Nor is it welcome, in the state of perpetual goodness, community, and love that is God's presence. Now follow the logic...
If God does not allow absolutely any selfishness in heaven, and assuming that you would like to be with God after you are dead, you MUST, absolutely and fully, renounce and reject selfishness before you can be with God in eternity after you die. So why not abandon any and all selfishness now, while you still can affect your positive score column in God's book? And do not put it off, as you really don't know when your number is up. Truly. Abandoning your selfishness is much easier than you think, as all it takes is remembering to practice thinking about others before yourself. Just some food for thought.
Embrace God, as God embraces you.
If God does not allow absolutely any selfishness in heaven, and assuming that you would like to be with God after you are dead, you MUST, absolutely and fully, renounce and reject selfishness before you can be with God in eternity after you die. So why not abandon any and all selfishness now, while you still can affect your positive score column in God's book? And do not put it off, as you really don't know when your number is up. Truly. Abandoning your selfishness is much easier than you think, as all it takes is remembering to practice thinking about others before yourself. Just some food for thought.
Embrace God, as God embraces you.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Problem relinquishing control?
I know I do.
My youngest nephew is lazy, to put it charitably. He is absolutely the laziest child I have ever known. And he is allowed to be inactive and unproductive because no one ever taught him what work is, as nothing is ever required of the boy by his parents. No one ever forced him to work, have chores, and understand responsibility. His parents' reasons for allowing this is their own, but it's still tragic.
Today, I was trying to encourage him to pull weeds. He was being forced to "help" by his mother, so while I was standing their watching him "work" I could see it in his actions that he was going to give his minimal effort. He pulled one blade of the really tall grass, although only removing part of the shaft. He continued to do this one by one. Not exactly a Herculean effort to help is mother.
When I showed him a good method of getting the job done easily and quickly, he refused to even try. He would have no part of something that required any real effort. As I kept trying to get him to work, he refused harder and harder until he went running to his mom to complain that the task was just to hard and to request some other easier task to do. I was incredibly frustrated with his cowardice and his mother's acceptance and re-enforcement of his laziness and selfishness. I have talked to her several times in the past about her children lacking any chores or responsibilities and how bad that is for them, yet she has done nothing to fix it, only making it worse by re-enforcing it.
So, as much as I want to fix her children and help them to understand work, responsibilities, and caring about other people, I cannot. I cannot do a thing because it is all and completely up to their mother. How do you allow yourself to accept a situation that is horrible and you feel you have the capacity to solve, yet are absolutely not allowed to? How do you give up any and all control over a situation and are only allowed to observe the final outcome?
The answer is twofold: first, you don't ever give up on trying to help. Any guiding words or acts you could do to improve the situation, you should continue trying to offer them. Second, allow yourself to sit back and let God deal with things. God is good and always has a reason for everything, so just trust in God's providence.
Yes, I know giving up control is hard. I know, really and truly. But sometimes you have to just accept that you cannot influence the outcome. This is when having a strong connection with God is so important, as God will help you with this acceptance and grant you peace of mind.
I still want only what's best for my nephew and my sister, and I'm still going to try to help, but I have to just trust in God's plan. Which I honestly do.
My youngest nephew is lazy, to put it charitably. He is absolutely the laziest child I have ever known. And he is allowed to be inactive and unproductive because no one ever taught him what work is, as nothing is ever required of the boy by his parents. No one ever forced him to work, have chores, and understand responsibility. His parents' reasons for allowing this is their own, but it's still tragic.
Today, I was trying to encourage him to pull weeds. He was being forced to "help" by his mother, so while I was standing their watching him "work" I could see it in his actions that he was going to give his minimal effort. He pulled one blade of the really tall grass, although only removing part of the shaft. He continued to do this one by one. Not exactly a Herculean effort to help is mother.
When I showed him a good method of getting the job done easily and quickly, he refused to even try. He would have no part of something that required any real effort. As I kept trying to get him to work, he refused harder and harder until he went running to his mom to complain that the task was just to hard and to request some other easier task to do. I was incredibly frustrated with his cowardice and his mother's acceptance and re-enforcement of his laziness and selfishness. I have talked to her several times in the past about her children lacking any chores or responsibilities and how bad that is for them, yet she has done nothing to fix it, only making it worse by re-enforcing it.
So, as much as I want to fix her children and help them to understand work, responsibilities, and caring about other people, I cannot. I cannot do a thing because it is all and completely up to their mother. How do you allow yourself to accept a situation that is horrible and you feel you have the capacity to solve, yet are absolutely not allowed to? How do you give up any and all control over a situation and are only allowed to observe the final outcome?
The answer is twofold: first, you don't ever give up on trying to help. Any guiding words or acts you could do to improve the situation, you should continue trying to offer them. Second, allow yourself to sit back and let God deal with things. God is good and always has a reason for everything, so just trust in God's providence.
Yes, I know giving up control is hard. I know, really and truly. But sometimes you have to just accept that you cannot influence the outcome. This is when having a strong connection with God is so important, as God will help you with this acceptance and grant you peace of mind.
I still want only what's best for my nephew and my sister, and I'm still going to try to help, but I have to just trust in God's plan. Which I honestly do.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Eliminating Stress
I have a sister, who I dearly love, who stresses over everything. She has allowed herself to stress and stress so much over the years, it has become her comfort zone. If there are no actual or real problems, she's prone to generate stress somehow. Not intentionally, but only because she has trained her subconscious that stress equals comfort.
Part of her stress is generated by her concern for timeliness and the care and helping of others. Part of it is low self-esteem, including the need to have the approval of others to allow herself to feel self-worth, which is ridiculous because she is a beautiful, creative, fully-capable, and dynamic person. I just wish she could really see that in herself.
As far as me, I don't stress. Ever. And it comes as easily to me as breathing. And I am able to not stress because of these three things:
Part of her stress is generated by her concern for timeliness and the care and helping of others. Part of it is low self-esteem, including the need to have the approval of others to allow herself to feel self-worth, which is ridiculous because she is a beautiful, creative, fully-capable, and dynamic person. I just wish she could really see that in herself.
As far as me, I don't stress. Ever. And it comes as easily to me as breathing. And I am able to not stress because of these three things:
- I trust fully, completely, truly, 1oo% in God. God will get me through anything and will be with me through every step of the way. Knowing that God is with me and in my corner, I know anything and everything will work its way out, one way or another, either way as part of God's plan for me.
- I don't ever dwell on the worst possible scenario. (My sister is legendary in this capacity, bless her heart ;o) .) My approach: I note the possible problems I could encounter, and have resolutions in mind for every one. Then, I forget all about the bad things that could happen (as they are no longer unknowns or scary, as I can attack each thing, as needed, because I have a plan in place) and just focus on the steps I need to take to accomplish what I'm trying to do. And perfect focus itself cures stress, as your are totally in tune with the task at hand, which keeps your mind from wandering to stressful thoughts.
- I don't think about or dwell on all of the steps I need to take to get something done. I really think of it simply: either something happens, or it doesn't. Ruining my emotional happiness and upsetting my peace of mind by allowing myself to stress is not going to have ANY impact on whether or not something happens or I get something done. In fact, stress actually hinders your functionality by occupying your focus from giving you best effort to the task at hand.
I know it sounds impossible to cure your stress, but I know it is most certainly possible. Just practice the above three things, especially building your trust and faith in God taking care of you. Stress, really and truly, is something you create. You allow your brain to dwell on the worst possible scenarios and feel overcome with details when all you need is to write down a clear plan of attack, with all the steps you need to reach your goals. You allow yourself to dwell on all the unknowns, when you just have to accept that your brain cannot function well with an unknown variable when you are trying to do anything. It leaves too much to the imagination to contrive, especially when you are thinking of horrible scenarios; so stay away from letting your mind ponder the unknowns when trying to deal with something, as nothing good comes of it. Do not continue to sabotage yourself and your happiness! Allow yourself out of your stress and just know everything will be okay. God will see to it, if you allow yourself to have true and earnest faith in God. God's peace be with you.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Finding Happiness Through Focus
Today was a beautiful day. I got around to quite a few of the things on my aging "to do" list. And as I focused on each thing I needed to do, I kept in mind the outcome that I wanted. I also stayed connected with God, who I know was giving me helpful hints throughout the day as I worked on accomplishing these tasks.
Here is a key element you must understand and embrace to find success in life: God truly speaks to you through your conscience and offers to you the best possible choice at any given moment if you just stop to listen. Stay connected with God, focus on hearing God's advice, and you will succeed. Guaranteed.
Focus, in general, is an important aspect of finding any success. When you focus attentively on the task at hand, it goes much more smoothly and minimizes accidents and sloppy efforts. Focusing also makes you self-aware of your needs and allows you to be much more open to opportunity, creativity, and the aid others can offer you. Maintaining good and healthy focus in the present also maximizes your ability to fully and earnestly appreciate your abundant and amazing blessings from God. Focus, when you stay in the present, yet shift it to others, also allows you great opportunity to best and generously help others, which is crucial for your spiritual well being.
In short, when you set your mind to accomplish good and positive things (God's will for you) and properly focus, you will find great success and more happiness than you could have possibly imagined. Allow yourself some faith, and focus, and God will flood your life with true happiness. Just try to be open to it, and focus. It is worth it and easier than you think.
Here is a key element you must understand and embrace to find success in life: God truly speaks to you through your conscience and offers to you the best possible choice at any given moment if you just stop to listen. Stay connected with God, focus on hearing God's advice, and you will succeed. Guaranteed.
Focus, in general, is an important aspect of finding any success. When you focus attentively on the task at hand, it goes much more smoothly and minimizes accidents and sloppy efforts. Focusing also makes you self-aware of your needs and allows you to be much more open to opportunity, creativity, and the aid others can offer you. Maintaining good and healthy focus in the present also maximizes your ability to fully and earnestly appreciate your abundant and amazing blessings from God. Focus, when you stay in the present, yet shift it to others, also allows you great opportunity to best and generously help others, which is crucial for your spiritual well being.
In short, when you set your mind to accomplish good and positive things (God's will for you) and properly focus, you will find great success and more happiness than you could have possibly imagined. Allow yourself some faith, and focus, and God will flood your life with true happiness. Just try to be open to it, and focus. It is worth it and easier than you think.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Keeping Your Promises
I was listening to Lou Tice's Investment in Excellence CDs in my car this morning and drew an immediate parallel between what Lou was talking about and what I was dealing with personally in letting myself down over and over and not doing the things I need, should, and want to do. Lou's point is that if you are a person of honor, someone of your word--which I am--then why do you always keep promises or commitments to others yet regularly break them to yourself? Why are you not worthy of keeping promises to? The answer is obviously: you are.
I have been afraid of certain changes I need or want to make in my life (for my own benefit), and have been able to stay away from any progress because I allowed myself excuse after excuse after excuse. No MORE! When I make a promise, vow, or commitment to myself, I'm going to be a person of honor and follow through completely, as if I were doing it for someone I love.
I suggest that you try this, too. Set good, positive goals for yourself with reasonable timeframes, and vow to yourself that you'll take the steps required to go in the positive direction you want to head. Even a little, tiny step is okay, at first. Vow to yourself you will accomplish the first step, and then once that is done, the second one won't feel overwhelming at all. And then you will build momentum, and there will be literally no stopping you. Just promise yourself you will start and not quit until you are successful. God wants you to thrive. And God wants your word that you will.
I have been afraid of certain changes I need or want to make in my life (for my own benefit), and have been able to stay away from any progress because I allowed myself excuse after excuse after excuse. No MORE! When I make a promise, vow, or commitment to myself, I'm going to be a person of honor and follow through completely, as if I were doing it for someone I love.
I suggest that you try this, too. Set good, positive goals for yourself with reasonable timeframes, and vow to yourself that you'll take the steps required to go in the positive direction you want to head. Even a little, tiny step is okay, at first. Vow to yourself you will accomplish the first step, and then once that is done, the second one won't feel overwhelming at all. And then you will build momentum, and there will be literally no stopping you. Just promise yourself you will start and not quit until you are successful. God wants you to thrive. And God wants your word that you will.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Coping with Death
My work friend, Cheryl, died today. Apparently what I mistook as recovery was really just a brief reprieve from the inevitable. I will deeply miss her.
Cheryl was a good person. She had a happy demeanor and an uplifting, positive spirit. She was easy-going, kind, generous, and deeply sensitive to all of the people in her life. She gave to charities and really cared about the good of nature and the world at large. She was friendly, funny, incredibly bright, quick witted, and had an endearing smile and truly infectious laugh. She was focused on goodness and her spiritual connection with God and being the best Cheryl she could be. She was a gift from God, and I am deeply honored to have had her grace my life. She was joy.
In hearing the news right before I left work today, I instantly began to pray for the forgiveness of any of her sins and the welcoming of her spirit into God's eternal presence. I trust in God and especially God's infinite mercy, so I KNOW I will see her again after I pass. She was an extremely good person (one of my favorite people ever), so I am absolutely certain God will embrace her soul. She IS with God now. And that brings me great comfort, especially knowing I will be able to see her again.
But her passing still makes me deeply sad. When you love someone, when they are away from you it makes you miss them and wish they were here. And when they will be away from you for the rest of your life...well that's just sorrowful. Missing out on all of the wonderful times you could have had in the future...
Which brought me to an insight from God: You have many good and wonderful memories of her. Those memories were just as real and vivid to you as when she was still alive, this morning. Those memories are what you cherish about her. The times you had, the laughter, the dumb jokes, the great conversations, the motherly advice...all of the wonderful things that made up your friendship. Those are what make up what you know of her, basically, who she is. Embrace those memories and count every cherished memory as a wonderful blessing from God. That is what is going to keep her alive in your heart. Cherish the memories and forgive the missteps you've taken in your relationship. The little things are not important enough to lament. Your loved one wouldn't want you to feel bad, so erase any apologies you feel you needed to make and allow yourself to live. And live fully! Take care of your body by eating better and exercising regularly. Take care of your mind by challenging it, educating it, and allowing it to focus, yet be open. Take care of your relationship to God, as God is the origin of all that you enjoy. Be generous with others. Stay active. Enjoy nature. Build loving and long relationships. Live with God always in mind.
This is my best advice in dealing with death of someone you love. I am still sad. Sad especially for her husband, son, and grandbaby. They will obviously miss her the most and my heart goes out to them. I pray that they find peace and solace through God. But I know she is with God now, and that is the thing from which I draw the most comfort. I will miss you, Good Cheryl.
Cherish your loved ones!
Cheryl was a good person. She had a happy demeanor and an uplifting, positive spirit. She was easy-going, kind, generous, and deeply sensitive to all of the people in her life. She gave to charities and really cared about the good of nature and the world at large. She was friendly, funny, incredibly bright, quick witted, and had an endearing smile and truly infectious laugh. She was focused on goodness and her spiritual connection with God and being the best Cheryl she could be. She was a gift from God, and I am deeply honored to have had her grace my life. She was joy.
In hearing the news right before I left work today, I instantly began to pray for the forgiveness of any of her sins and the welcoming of her spirit into God's eternal presence. I trust in God and especially God's infinite mercy, so I KNOW I will see her again after I pass. She was an extremely good person (one of my favorite people ever), so I am absolutely certain God will embrace her soul. She IS with God now. And that brings me great comfort, especially knowing I will be able to see her again.
But her passing still makes me deeply sad. When you love someone, when they are away from you it makes you miss them and wish they were here. And when they will be away from you for the rest of your life...well that's just sorrowful. Missing out on all of the wonderful times you could have had in the future...
Which brought me to an insight from God: You have many good and wonderful memories of her. Those memories were just as real and vivid to you as when she was still alive, this morning. Those memories are what you cherish about her. The times you had, the laughter, the dumb jokes, the great conversations, the motherly advice...all of the wonderful things that made up your friendship. Those are what make up what you know of her, basically, who she is. Embrace those memories and count every cherished memory as a wonderful blessing from God. That is what is going to keep her alive in your heart. Cherish the memories and forgive the missteps you've taken in your relationship. The little things are not important enough to lament. Your loved one wouldn't want you to feel bad, so erase any apologies you feel you needed to make and allow yourself to live. And live fully! Take care of your body by eating better and exercising regularly. Take care of your mind by challenging it, educating it, and allowing it to focus, yet be open. Take care of your relationship to God, as God is the origin of all that you enjoy. Be generous with others. Stay active. Enjoy nature. Build loving and long relationships. Live with God always in mind.
This is my best advice in dealing with death of someone you love. I am still sad. Sad especially for her husband, son, and grandbaby. They will obviously miss her the most and my heart goes out to them. I pray that they find peace and solace through God. But I know she is with God now, and that is the thing from which I draw the most comfort. I will miss you, Good Cheryl.
Cherish your loved ones!
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