Coping with Death

My work friend, Cheryl, died today. Apparently what I mistook as recovery was really just a brief reprieve from the inevitable. I will deeply miss her.

Cheryl was a good person. She had a happy demeanor and an uplifting, positive spirit. She was easy-going, kind, generous, and deeply sensitive to all of the people in her life. She gave to charities and really cared about the good of nature and the world at large. She was friendly, funny, incredibly bright, quick witted, and had an endearing smile and truly infectious laugh. She was focused on goodness and her spiritual connection with God and being the best Cheryl she could be. She was a gift from God, and I am deeply honored to have had her grace my life. She was joy.

In hearing the news right before I left work today, I instantly began to pray for the forgiveness of any of her sins and the welcoming of her spirit into God's eternal presence. I trust in God and especially God's infinite mercy, so I KNOW I will see her again after I pass. She was an extremely good person (one of my favorite people ever), so I am absolutely certain God will embrace her soul. She IS with God now. And that brings me great comfort, especially knowing I will be able to see her again.

But her passing still makes me deeply sad. When you love someone, when they are away from you it makes you miss them and wish they were here. And when they will be away from you for the rest of your life...well that's just sorrowful. Missing out on all of the wonderful times you could have had in the future...

Which brought me to an insight from God: You have many good and wonderful memories of her. Those memories were just as real and vivid to you as when she was still alive, this morning. Those memories are what you cherish about her. The times you had, the laughter, the dumb jokes, the great conversations, the motherly advice...all of the wonderful things that made up your friendship. Those are what make up what you know of her, basically, who she is. Embrace those memories and count every cherished memory as a wonderful blessing from God. That is what is going to keep her alive in your heart. Cherish the memories and forgive the missteps you've taken in your relationship. The little things are not important enough to lament. Your loved one wouldn't want you to feel bad, so erase any apologies you feel you needed to make and allow yourself to live. And live fully! Take care of your body by eating better and exercising regularly. Take care of your mind by challenging it, educating it, and allowing it to focus, yet be open. Take care of your relationship to God, as God is the origin of all that you enjoy. Be generous with others. Stay active. Enjoy nature. Build loving and long relationships. Live with God always in mind.

This is my best advice in dealing with death of someone you love. I am still sad. Sad especially for her husband, son, and grandbaby. They will obviously miss her the most and my heart goes out to them. I pray that they find peace and solace through God. But I know she is with God now, and that is the thing from which I draw the most comfort. I will miss you, Good Cheryl.

Cherish your loved ones!