Infinite Mulligans

Today's topic is all about God's mercy. It is incredibly difficult to really grasp that God's forgiveness is actually and truly without limit. But, thankfully for me, it is...

In battling with the same mistakes over and over and over, not only was I getting sick of failing so many times, but I was getting very tired of letting God down and having the apparent need to test the limits to God's infinite mercy. I was ashamed that I need God's forgiveness for the same dumb things over and over. But God always provides beautiful insight...

God has the most amazing way of calming my neuroses and giving me crystal-clear perspective. God reminds me very often to stop taking myself so seriously. The problem, as far as I see it, is that my entire reason for existence is to do right by God and do good according to God's will, as God shares it with me. I also have a history of strong perfectionist tendencies. Add that with striving to be perfect for the only entity in the entire universe that actually is perfect, and it's simply a recipe failure and disappointment. I am simply a human, and humans tend to make mistakes. Lots of them.

In dealing with my personal failings with these repetitive mistakes, God reminded me to stop my whining and self-flagellation, accept responsibility for the wrongs, and to simply vow to stay focused on God and stop myself from repeating these things in the future. But can God really be that patient with someone who seems to never learn?

Yes, of course! The condition, however, is that in order to actually receive God's forgiveness for something, one must have a full and complete conversion of heart. You must renounce what you did, fix it, and then truly and earnestly work your absolute best to never do it again. And after you vow to yourself and fail, what does God say to you? Something like: simply try again, but harder this time. God knows we are humans and fully understands our weaknesses and accepts mulligan after mulligan, provided your heart and mind are honestly striving to change. Just keep trying the best you can is all that God really wants. Even if it takes an infinite number of mulligans. God's mercy is perpetually available, beautiful and perfect. Be open to it.

The Need for Solitude

I can't say that I've always been a people person. But in building a much stronger relationship with God lately, I've come to accept that I am. Because what was keeping me a recluse and so isolated from people was my selfishness: I always wanted things to go my way; I didn't want to have to wait for people; I didn't want to have to explain myself; I didn't want to have to listen to what I considered stupid, inane, or annoying talk. I was not a people person because I was a "me" person. I was all about me.

In growing up--finally!--I have come to realize that to embrace God is to embrace all of God's children. To deal with others does mean to exhibit patience, to listen to others when they need to share, vent or opine, and to take the time to address and fulfill the needs or choices of others. To have a close relationship with God requires that you are a people person.

But life happens. You get tired. You get hungry. You get hot. You get out of sorts. You get a little (or a lot) grumpy. And that's okay. The important thing to remember is to keep your focus on God and realize those are all temporary feelings or conditions and to not give up or lose faith. It doesn't make you a bad person; going through these kinds of bad or uncomfortable feelings simply makes you human. Accept it. Accept that you're not going to feel like skipping through a flowery meadow every day. But just keep in mind how nice the meadow is and try to get back there as often as possible.

On a personal note, I dealt with this very thing today. I woke up after not much more than three hours of sleep and just felt overwhelmed with all of the stuff I needed to get done and started to feel a shade hopeless. And I had to hit the ground running when I woke up, with grocery shopping with a friend and other have-to-dos filling out my day. And being in a grumpy state, I found fault (in my mind) with every single word my friend said. It was only when I had a chance to drive somewhere by myself did I actually stop myself and connect back with God. When I asked God why everything my friend said was making me angry, God turned it around on me. I realized at that point that it wasn't her, the problem was entirely about my attitude and foul mood. After I had that time to reflect and understand this, I self-talked myself into a positive place by reminding myself that the things making me grumpy will most definitely pass and just because I was being foul didn't mean I had the right to inflict negativity on others. A few affirmations about not being that way and being happy and full of joy put my back in a good place. The rest of the day went beautifully, thanks to God. Had I not had that time to reflect and pray, the rest of my day would have been as horrible as the first part.

The lesson for you to take away from my experience is to ALWAYS take a little time to be alone to reflect on what you are doing and connect back with God. It is immensely helpful in getting yourself back on track. God will give you all of the patience, comfort, and joy you need. You just have to stop to ask for God's help. God's joy be with you.


Comments:

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

Today's personal lesson was a rough one: I caught my nephew in a lie and in continuing bad and unacceptable behaviors. The rough part is that, even though I try to maintain logic and reason, along with compassion and empathy in dealing with others, I lost all of these things when I confronted him. When he lied directly to my face and reiterated it time and time again as I gave him chances to rescind it, I got very angry and lost it. I got in his face, yelled, threatened severe action...no need to get into all the details, but let's just say I did not behave as I knew I should.

Even though almost everything I said was true and were things he needed to hear regarding contributing toward his family and putting effort into improving his situation and that of his mother, I got extremely angry and let him have it. Things got very ugly for a while there with rude snubs, rough words, and a punched door. If it weren't for God getting my focus back...

In the middle of a yelling rant, I suddenly realized that, even though I was angry and he needed to hear certain things, I was in the wrong. My approach was way off, and God threw a mirror in my face to show me how ridiculously over the top my attitude and approach was. At that point, I calmed way down and expressed in calm words that I was very sorry for over-reacting, but certain improvements in his behaviors were crucially needed.

Not to get into every last detail, but after God made me aware of how I was dealing with my nephew incorrectly, we had a deep and important conversation that ended with positive heart-felt tears on both sides. My nephew is a good guy, as I've mentioned before, but sometimes it takes an in-your-face exchange to wake him up. I really think it did, but only time will tell. I love him and only want the best for him. I knew, through God, that our relationship would get back on track, even though I had my doubts when he said he was done with me. But God got us through it and I truly think our relationship is in a much better place now. We needed to go through the darkest and ugliest thing our friendship has ever suffered to get to this better place: a new dawn.

The advice to take away from my emotionally brutal experience is to never give up, even when things seem impossible and seemingly couldn't possibly get better. Also, remember to keep your emotions in check, although I'm living proof that it is easier said than done. And always keep in mind that God is always with you, so do not ever forget to use God as a resource for patience and guidance, even in the worst of situations. God will pull you through, never doubt that for a second. God is most helpful.


Comments on God helping to pull you through? Post below:

Addiction vs. Disease

There has been an unfortunate change in our modern world over the last few decades in regards to personal accountability and coddling the selfish and self-destructive. There has been a push, strongly re-enforced and perpetuated by the media, that no matter what you do to yourself--and often what you do to others--it is okay, as it is self-expression, and all self-expression is valuable and should be embraced. And because self-expression has been nearly deified, one could not possibly be held personally accountable or have to take responsibility for anything he or she does. Part of the impact on our society of this is that there are no addictions nowadays; it's a disease. You aren't a drunk or wino anymore, you are afflicted with the disease of alcoholism. It sounds much nicer and externalizes your negative actions into something you couldn't possibly control: a disease.

But this laughable approach has gone overboard, and it is evident everywhere. Drug users, and people obsessed with sex, food, pornography, video games, internet, television, plastic surgery, and even shopping, tattoos, and piercings all now have diseases. One could not possibly be expected to show any self-control or moderation. That's antiquated and barbaric!

Reality check, y'all: it is not a bloody disease if you only have it because you have money in your pocket or do some negative activity repetitively! Diseases are physical or mental problems that run their own course and have absolutely ZERO to do with the activities you do during the day. It's not a disease if your are "in remission" because you slept late and couldn't get your fix.

God loves each and every one of us and most definitely wants us to enjoy the world that God created. But always keep in mind moderation. And always remember that you actually and truly are accountable for all of your actions, even if you buy into society excusing it for you. God is above all of this nonsense and will most definitely not be looking for phony excuses when God calls you onto the carpet after you die. This is just a word of warning, do with it what you will. You do have your God-given free will, after all. God be with you.


Thoughts on addictions? Comment below:

Mini-miracles

This morning, only by the grace of God, I woke up being able to hear. Not completely, but enough to be aware that God was in action. I am by no means deaf, but I do have 90% hearing loss in one of my ears due to childhood trauma, which for all practical purposes, means I cannot hear just about anything from my left ear. I have spent just about my entire life not being able to hear when people bend my bad ear for a whisper, I miss some parts of conversations (which I usually cover with a smile and a nod because it gets very tedious fast having to often ask people to repeat what they said), and I don't experience stereo.

For some reason, every few years or so, my bad ear adjusts or corrects itself, although my eardrum is almost completely missing, so it can only physically do so much. It corrects so that I do get some hearing out of it. That event in my ear, whatever it is, happened this morning.

Granted, it's usually a minor improvement and usually only lasts up to a couple of days, but it allows me to hear more fully, and I actually get to experience what stereo is, even if it is just higher frequency sounds. The point is, when it happens, it's exciting and fun. For a brief time, I get a unique blessing from God.

Nowadays, I am much more observant and focused on God and the details of life, so when it happened this morning, I SAVORED it. I relished it. I enjoyed the heck out of it. I made noises just so I could hear them. My ear is still working, and only God knows how long this blessing will stay, but even if it disappears presently, I will have connected with God over this mini-miracle. God brought me joy, and it was most good.

The point of my sharing this is to encourage you to really focus on how God blesses you with small blessings, or mini-miracles. Don't stress or fret or rue when something good fades away or leaves, focus on the memory of how wonderful it was to have it in the first place and the great joy it brought you while it was in your life. And, of course, focus on how good and generous God is that God blessed you with it in the first place, even if only for a short while. I love God. :)


Have a mini-miracle to share? Comment below:

Do you smell?

No, it's not about your odor, that's between you and the people around you. ;o) I am talking about smelling the world. Do you take time to focus on the wonderful things in life? I'm taking a break for today's entry from more serious topics to embrace the joy of living, in this case, what you experience through your sense of smell.

The sense of smell, as current scientific belief holds, is the most powerful of all the senses. I think that may go back to pre-historic times when our sense of smell was far more crucial in determining what was edible, but I digress...

Today, I spent some significant time thinking about my favorite smells. God has gifted humans with this sense, and it is a wonderful part of being alive. I also thought back to smells I used to really enjoy, but don't as much now that I'm older, such as car exhaust (which actually can be deadly) and skunk. Yes, I know I was a weird kid...

Some of my most favorite smells that I came up with today are such food items as basil, barbeque meat, coffee, cilantro, and wasabi. (Yep, my mouth is watering.) In nature, I came up with roses, live jasmine, pine forests, ocean breezes, and babies (hey, they're natural). I also really like the perfume Eternity. And, back to food, although there are TONS of yummy smells, I would have to say fresh-baked _______ (just about anything, but especially chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon rolls, and bread).

God really has blessed us in infinite ways, and taking time to explore what you really enjoy and appreciate shows God your gratitude. Take some time to reflect on what your favorites are. God is awesome. Awesome to the max!


Want to share your smells? Comment below:

Defense of Victims and Being the "Bad Guy"

God provides many inspirational ideas for this blog each day, but I tend to go with the topics that hit closest to home, as real life is where the rubber meets the road, as they say...

My nephew is a good person. I KNOW this. I see it in the things he says and does, as well as in the way he interacts with people. His problems, which tend to be pretty ubiquitous with teenagers, is that he tends to pretty lazy and selfish. And the big problem with the kids coming up nowadays, generally speaking, is that no one is drawing lines for them, holding them accountable or responsible for anything, or teaching them what it means to focus on other people.

My nephew tends to spend 90% of his waking hours in front of the computer, playing computer games, socializing, and just generally wasting time. He doesn't have any kind of job at all. None. And he's 19. He doesn't even bother pretending to try to find one, as his mother, with whom he lives, doesn't demand or expect anything from him. Her only "requirement" is that he either work or go to school. And he, after announcing today that he dropped out for the semester, does neither.

His mother, whom I dearly love and cherish, demands little and expects nothing from him, which is exactly what she gets. She is sensitive and caring and loves her children without limits, which makes her an easy mark for those who try to take advantage of her. My nephew has figured this out and does so. I have talked to him several times about this and really thought I got through, but each time he falls back to what is easy and familiar: the selfish victimization of his mother. If someone provided you with food, clothing, shelter, television, internet and expected nothing in return and you did not have a strong moral compass, what would you do?

I laid it out for him earlier today. He said his plan is to work full time for this semester, but when I asked him what he has done so far towards that plan, his answer was next to nothing. I'm sorry, but you cannot spend 15 hours a day wasting time on the computer and pretend like you are striving to work full time. Does he expect employers to bust down the door of someone who barely finished high school and has zero work experience? I know I had TONS to learn when I was his age, so he gets a little slack for that, but he is crossing a real line into evil when he manipulates and uses his own mother to avoid any and all responsibility.

The point of this rant is to remind you that it is crucial to stand up for victims in this world. Not everyone has the confidence or fortitude to defend themselves, even against their own family. My sister would never tell her son this stuff, but somebody needed to, so I did. Yes, he is very angry with me. But do I care? He had to hear these things, even at the expense of our friendship. It's for the good of his character and his soul. The nice thing is that I know God will bring him around. God always does.


Comments? Feel free, below:

Not Feeling an Abundance of Positivity? Strive for Neutral.

I spent a VERY long day at a theme park, let's just say it rhymes with Shmisneyland. Late during this fun-filled, action-packed 15 hour day, I found it quite difficult to muster much joy or positivity. I was hot and tired and sore in MANY different ways and in MANY different places. It was crowded, and a lot of the people there, including some of the staff, just didn't seem to be well-mannered. In the olden days, I would have let loose and spewed grumpiness and negativity all over whomever I was with. Today, however, I turned to God...

Well, I was a little too wrapped up in all the things and pains I was dealing with, so God's advice to me at the time was to just zip it. I may not have lots of smiles or kind words to share with others, but the very least I could do in the rough state I was in was to just keep my mouth shut and not to make it worse. Spewing negativity would have just made who I was with grumpy, mad at me, and lessen the fun times. No need for that. God reminded me of the old saying that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Sage advice, indeed. And I'm thankful for it, because after a rest, some food, and a nice cold drink, my mood improved and I was able to earnestly smile and be a beacon of positivity again. Even simple lessons, with the correct timing, can be life changing. Allow yourself these kinds of opportunities. God is good.

Comments? Feel free, below:

Reticular Activating System and the Struggle for Focus

Life lessons are perpetually abundant, thanks be to God. Earlier today, I was chopping some fresh jalapenos for a salsa that I was helping my sister make. I've chopped peppers before, including jalapenos, which are easy to deal with, and habaneros, which are not. The time I chopped habaneros without gloves, my hands turned bright red and burned for at least half the day. Jalapenos are nowhere near as severe. So why, a good four hours after handling the jalapenos do my hands hurt at least ten times more than three hours ago and as much as when I dealt with the habaneros?

The answer: my reticular activating system. One's reticular activating system is the thing in your brain that filters out all of the stuff your senses are exposed to that is not important to you or that in no way has any impact on you, thus your brain essentially ignores it. Once you are aware of how this works and that you are doing this with something, you can overcome it quite easily by focusing your full attention on what you are aware you were ignoring. Case in point: my hands.

Shortly after I was done handling the peppers, I began to feel a little burn. At that point, God gave me the option to block it out, but also the sense that I needed to allow myself to stay aware of the pain, perhaps as inspiration for this entry. A few moments ago, I was so focused on the pain, it was nearly unbearable and as I was actively looking at my hands, they began to turn bright red, as they did the time I dealt with the habaneros. I fully focused on the pain, and it did not disappoint.

The whole point of my story is that everything you experience is all about the focus you give it. If you are trying to stay away from negative thoughts and ideas, DO NOT allow yourself to focus on them. Block it out. The instant you begin to dwell on something that is bad for your life, character, or soul, just stop and force yourself to focus on something good or positive. Always have a list in your mind of go-to positive things to ponder, be it your children, your favorite animal, the infinence of space...whatever is good and can hold your attention. Use that as a substitute when your mind starts going in places that aren't good or productive for you.

Another aspect of the reticular activating system is that it also contributes greatly to taking things for granted. When something in your life is not causing you issue or concern, your reticular activating system puts it out of your mind. This process is key in maintaining mental health and the ability to get through the day without HAVING to focus on every single tiny detail of your surroundings. However, in order to give God proper thanks for everything God has given you, you must be aware that your brain does this and fight against it. Yes, it is a struggle to maintain the right balance of healthy focus, but it just takes practice and the desire to give glory to God. Always remember, with God, ANYTHING is truly possible. (And again, much thanks to God, as my hands have completely stopped hurting at this point.)


Comments on how your reticular activating system has helped or hindered you? Comment below:

Thanksgiving flat? Try digging in.

As I was mowing my lawn this morning, it occurred to me how that task can get old to some people. Luckily for me, I'm still in my honeymoon phase, as I haven't been a homeowner for terribly long. But I know in talking to friends who own their own homes, how mowing and yardwork in general is a dreaded burden for some people. In pondering this, I asked God how I could avoid feeling burdened as time goes on. Of course, God always has guidance...

First, feel how great it is to just be outside and to breath and have health good enough for such tasks. Second, appreciate how you have a yard to mow (this one struck home for me, especially, considering I had previously lived for many years in a cramped one-bedroom apartment that didn't even have a patio or a porch--no outside space at all), as many people are not so blessed. Third, enjoy the solitude and time to pray and reflect. Fourth, think of how nice it will look after the task is done and how wonderful that sense of accomplishment feels. I could go on, but you get my point.

The important thing about thanking God for anything is to dig deep and approach it from all angles. Think about the big picture and the tiniest of details, as it is all beautiful and meaningful if you remember to reflect on them. There are quite literally an infinite number of things to thank God for. You don't have to thank God for all of your blessings in one session, you don't even have to thank God for the same things every day. Break it up, mix it up, but most importantly FEEL it. Appreciate God and everything God has given you and all of the wonderful people God has placed in your life. Start with anything you want, focus, and connect with God in real thanksgiving. This is one way to deepen your connection with God and keep it alive, real, and honest.


What are you thankful to God for? Post below:

Clarity on Charity

It occurred to me after reading yesterday's post that I may have under-emphasized the importance of charity. Charity is crucial in building our characters, our relationships, our society, as well as our relationship with God. Charity isn't just about give money to people, it so much more broad and deeper than that. Charity is simply about doing for others to their benefit without being forced to. Charity can be as simple as a friendly smile to a passing stranger, or as self-sacrificing as giving a kidney to your mom. Charity is infinitely important, yet can be incredibly simple. Just take the time, think of others and what they need or might appreciate and give it to them. Try to practice this as often as possible every day.

The problem with charity is that it is often exploited by those without any sense of morality. That is why it is important to try to discern actual need, because if you simply become an ATM to those who want your money, you do not help them learn, become self-sufficient, or grow closer to God; you are simply teaching them that you are a source for free money. You teach a man to fish...that is the real key to charity: make it sustainable and character-enriching.

Although it is far different in most other parts of the world, in America, there is no actual starvation. There are government programs and food banks and religious and secular private organizations, etc. to help those in need. There are many ways to be provided food if you cannot afford it yourself. Even as a last resort, you could go into a grocery store and just eat something off the shelf if you were actually starving. Physical starvation is not a problem in America, its the moral starvation that is a much more alarming concern. But God willing, we will change that. It all starts with simple acts of charity.


Comments? Post below:

The Girl Who Needed Change

Very much lately, God has been showering me with topic after topic to discuss and share with you...but the lesson from yesterday is that I learn just as much from what I'm meant to share. Case in point: the girl who needed change.

I was on my way home with a stomach two hours past hungry when I needed to drop by the library to drop off some materials. I rushed to the drop box, dropped my items, and was already at a brisk gait when this robust 17-year-old-ish girl asked if I had any change. I am totally and completely about charity (when actually needed), but from first and second hand experience, I know most of the people bumming change here in America are not in dire need, and some of them actually have more money than I do. "Could you spare some change?" she asked. "Sorry," is what I said, which is what I usually say because it expresses "no" without having to lie or belittle. But then she asked me, "You don't have any change at all?" Without thinking and nearly flying by her, I said, "nope, sorry." I lied. I had change. I almost always have change in my pocket. I felt horrible. I'm striving to be the best person I can be, yet I can lie that easily? Hypocrite, I thought to myself.

Thank God for God, is all I have to say. Yet again, God had to step in, calm my internal self-flagellation, and bring order to my chaos. God didn't give me excuses, nor did God want any. God simply reminded me that it was in the past, that I'm striving to be a truly good person, and then asked me what I will do differently next time something like that arises. After thinking it over and remembering my failed interactions with beggars in the past (such as giving money to obvious substance abusers, giving directions to the local food bank and homeless shelter which were promptly ignored as they moved onto the next mark, and ignoring them completely), I realized I am going to either buy them food directly (although this has been declined more often than it has been accepted, in my experiences) or simply tell them the blunt truth: "I cannot give you money because I have no real way to know you are in actual need or won't use it for drugs or alcohol. Sorry." Honesty? Didn't think of that one at the time, lol. But next time...


Thoughts? Feel free to comment below:

Having doubts in God? Join the human race...

Life is funny: I woke up this morning, turned on the radio, and instantly thought I had a wonderful topic for this evening's blog entry. But, alas, today was actually a lesson in listening to God's guidance, as well as a lesson in humility.

My sister called me while I was at work and told me of her experience in selling her car today. The first dealership she went to offered her very little after the salesman belittled and devalued her car in every way he could. Because he left her feeling hopeless and extremely desperate, she begrudgingly accepted the deal. The salesman left the room to retrieve the sales manager to close the deal. The sales manager, who entered without the salesman, let my sister know that the salesman rescinded the offer because the car was just not good enough to buy, essentially at any price. At this point, my sister's feelings of hopelessness were overwhelming, because if they wouldn't even give her an insultingly meager amount of money for her car, how is she possibly going to afford a smaller, more economical car she so desperately needs? As people tend to do in seemingly hopeless situations, she turned to prayer. She prayed deeply and earnestly for help. She prayed for a miracle...

Not to ruin the punchline, but after going to another dealership, she was treated quite well and was ecstatic when they offered her THREE times what the first dealership did! They made her feel good for the way she kept up the car and were honest and fair in assessing a mutually beneficial amount. She got exactly what she needed, and I don't need to tell you who was responsible for this miracle. Prayer is truly a powerful thing once you let God at the problem.

But why is this entry's title about having doubts in God? Well, it wasn't my sister with the doubt. After I got off the phone with her, a flash of doubt hit me like a wet blanket (as I was quite amped up by her great news): what if it was simply a coincidence that she happened to pray and get what she needed for her family? Needless to say, that thought did not make me too thrilled because I had been on a real positive high for several days, basking in God's love, generosity, and friendship. I really thought to myself that I had done it now, that my doubt somehow broke my connection with God and God would be displeased. I beat myself up for a little while, and then, as God so graciously does with me, stopped my internal ranting, calmed me down, and told me that I was human and to get over it. Doubt in God is very much just a part of the human condition. It's all about what wolf you feed inside yourself, as the RoG says, so doubt is really only an issue if you feed it and make it stronger. I've been so caught up lately with enjoying total positivity with God, that when a regular human emotion, such as doubt, entered my head, I was thrown for a real loop. This was most definitely a reminder from God to not forget I'm human and will make dumb mistakes or think bad things, no matter how hard I try to stay focused on being good and positive, and that it is okay. Your mind is an immensely sophisticated machine, full of every possible thought that free will provides, even bad ones. But that's okay, as long as you maintain a healthy perspective and not give credence to the bad stuff.

I KNOW there is a God. I see miracles big and small every single day. I see the delicate and sophisticated way that all of God's creation interacts via its nearly infinite number of symbiotic relationships. God created a beautiful and fascinating existence for us. I see tons of evidence every single day: God is most definitely there. God is real.

As humans, we do not have the ability to be perfect or maintain perfect perpetual focus on God. It is very much within our human nature to have occasional doubts in God, yet God does not get offended by this type of stray thought, as long as we don't embrace it. God loves each one of us immensely and gets what's really in our hearts. An occasional doubt doesn't scare or offend God; it is quite okay with God, especially when we come around again. God understands our humanity much better than we do and is very much okay with us being human.

I had doubt...and I got over it. God is understanding. (And most generous! Thank you, God, for my sister's miracle; it was immensely appreciated!)


Have you dealt with or are dealing with doubts? Comment below:

Overcoming being Damaged via Forgiveness

More on the theme of forgiveness? Most assuredly, yes! It's a wonderfully rich and deep area of thought and reflection. And, of course, an informal conversation with a friend brought up the idea of how to survive being damaged, or at least feeling as if you are. She told me that she believed in karma and would very much like to be present when the stepfather who sexually abused her died painfully in front of her. She told me that she could not and would not ever forgive him.

Forgiveness is simply just truly and fully letting go of a wrong that you are actually sorry for. As a victim, forgiveness means allowing yourself to let go of the pain, anger and resentment. Forgiveness as a victim is essential in detaching the emotion from the visual and audio memories and pictures stored up in many different parts of the brain. Only in detaching the emotion from the stored memories can both fade. One method is by allowing yourself to flash back to a horrific event (either as offender or victim) but replace what you feel when you are thinking about the event with a more positive emotion or thought. Like forgiveness, for example. Like pity. Like sorrow for their soul. Like prayer to God to convert their soul to good on either side of the grave. Practice this now. Think back to an event you abhor. Think of what positive outcome you can for the other party, and think of the emotions they would feel when they received it. Feel the emotion. Feel it like it were a part of you. Incorporate it into your senses. Feel the cleansing power of God once you truly and fully believe it. And then to further distance the memory from your conscience, repeat again and again: It is in the past and it's not who I am now. It has no influence over you once you acknowledge it more as a footnote that brought you around to being the good, kind, compassionate, generous person you have become.

Nothing good comes from retaining bad memories because they hold you back from fully feeling the joy, love, and tenderness that God is trying to communicate to you at all times throughout your life. Forgiving others, as well as oneself, literally means that you trust in God and respect the fact that God made you and wants you to have a fantastic life by getting past the bad and focusing on the good, beautiful, wonderful people and things there are all around you. Sure, it's hard to stay positive. At first. Trust me, I know first hand. I had gone through long stretches of my life when I was just grumpy, negative, deeply selfish, and had very little faith or hope. But I started simply thinking about the good things from time to time. I focused on my extended family, my nieces and nephews, and wanted good things for them. I started to notice how beautiful all plants and animals are, even the ugly ones. And first and foremost, I focused on God. I knew God is there and I wanted to get to know God better. So I started realizing that God is the author of everything and the source of all goodness and positivity, so why don't I not just focus on God, but the extensions of God. In loving and appreciating works of God's art (any part of nature, living or scenic), you deeply honor God as well as show great thanks. In understanding God actually values your appreciation and study of God's works, you understand more clearly that God really and truly desires a two-sided relationship with you. You will feel closer to God the more you strive to be the best you that you can be and be thankful to God at all times. The more you know that you are doing right and good things that God would appreciate, the closer you will allow yourself to feel the actual and very real presence of God.

And that, is how you overcome being damaged, or feeling like you are: forgive the wrongdoer, replace the emotion, forgive yourself, replace the emotion, and then practice focusing on positive and good things more and more and then just let God inspire you through the rest. I know, I know, easier said than done, but I am living proof it is most certainly possible with God's help, as I, myself, once was damaged. God is with you.


Thoughts on overcoming being "damaged"? Please post below:

A Few Words on Forgiveness...

It has taken me an entire lifetime to truly understand and fully KNOW that God's love, forgiveness, and mercy are really and truly infinite. But now that I get this part, what next?

I came to the most important realization a few days ago: that in order to emulate God as fully as possible we must emulate God's love (which is the easy part) AND emulate God's infinite forgiveness and mercy (which is the hardest part). In order to fully get God, that is, in order to be in full communion with God while still alive and have eternal life with God, you must embrace forgiveness. You must forgive all who have wronged you, whether they want your forgiveness or not, as God will be with those people after they die and offer them salvation and redemption if they have the intention to embrace God. The point is, it is not your position to judge others to avoid giving them forgiveness. You have no idea what is going on in the other person's conscience or heart. Forgive them and then just leave the rest to God's most capable hands. And just as crucial as forgiving others, you must forgive YOURSELF. Forgive yourself for everything you are ashamed of. Forgive yourself for every single thing you regret and will never do again. And since God's infinite mercy and forgiveness very much applies to YOU, you are required, in emulating God, to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and give it to God.

While at work today, I got into a discussion with a co-worker about "an eye for an eye" vs. "turn the other cheek." My coworker is quite spiritual and seems to really appreciate my religious wisdom. When discussing "turn the other cheek," I came to the realization that Jesus didn't mean to literally let someone run topsy-turvy over you by offering your cheeks as slapping posts, but that you are to always offer your complete trust that after someone has slapped you and forgiveness was sought and received, you acknowledge that they have had a true change of heart by offering the other. Emulate God's infinite forgiveness and let it go.

So to bring the point most literally home, I was thinking about forgiveness and focusing on connecting with God and was able to forgive everyone in my entire life straight away (through understanding God has knowledge of all of their hearts and minds), save my beloved mum, who abandoned me, along with my five siblings, when I was a wee lad. I held onto deep anger and fell into deep bouts of depression because of the feelings of being unloved that she left entrenched in my psyche. Turning to God has helped me understand that after she died, my mum was offered salvation and the opportunity for eternal life if she wanted to accept God's forgiveness. If God can offer her forgiveness, I can't possibly go against God's will and not forgive her myself. So I did. I truly and fully do not hold one iota of hostility toward my mum and I feel fantastic!

What are your words on forgiveness?

Welcome: About Goddism

I have started this blog to start a community of Goddists. Goddism is explained fully through this document, but it is all about trying to be in full communion with God while still living. It's about doing good works for yourself, for others, and for all of God's creation. It's about respect and love for God and God's gifts and to living in perpetual thanksgiving and joy. It's all about thriving to be the best you that you can be with the life God gave you as well as trying to better others and the world. It's all about loving God as fully as possible.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/18001638/Revelation-from-God