Overcoming being Damaged via Forgiveness

More on the theme of forgiveness? Most assuredly, yes! It's a wonderfully rich and deep area of thought and reflection. And, of course, an informal conversation with a friend brought up the idea of how to survive being damaged, or at least feeling as if you are. She told me that she believed in karma and would very much like to be present when the stepfather who sexually abused her died painfully in front of her. She told me that she could not and would not ever forgive him.

Forgiveness is simply just truly and fully letting go of a wrong that you are actually sorry for. As a victim, forgiveness means allowing yourself to let go of the pain, anger and resentment. Forgiveness as a victim is essential in detaching the emotion from the visual and audio memories and pictures stored up in many different parts of the brain. Only in detaching the emotion from the stored memories can both fade. One method is by allowing yourself to flash back to a horrific event (either as offender or victim) but replace what you feel when you are thinking about the event with a more positive emotion or thought. Like forgiveness, for example. Like pity. Like sorrow for their soul. Like prayer to God to convert their soul to good on either side of the grave. Practice this now. Think back to an event you abhor. Think of what positive outcome you can for the other party, and think of the emotions they would feel when they received it. Feel the emotion. Feel it like it were a part of you. Incorporate it into your senses. Feel the cleansing power of God once you truly and fully believe it. And then to further distance the memory from your conscience, repeat again and again: It is in the past and it's not who I am now. It has no influence over you once you acknowledge it more as a footnote that brought you around to being the good, kind, compassionate, generous person you have become.

Nothing good comes from retaining bad memories because they hold you back from fully feeling the joy, love, and tenderness that God is trying to communicate to you at all times throughout your life. Forgiving others, as well as oneself, literally means that you trust in God and respect the fact that God made you and wants you to have a fantastic life by getting past the bad and focusing on the good, beautiful, wonderful people and things there are all around you. Sure, it's hard to stay positive. At first. Trust me, I know first hand. I had gone through long stretches of my life when I was just grumpy, negative, deeply selfish, and had very little faith or hope. But I started simply thinking about the good things from time to time. I focused on my extended family, my nieces and nephews, and wanted good things for them. I started to notice how beautiful all plants and animals are, even the ugly ones. And first and foremost, I focused on God. I knew God is there and I wanted to get to know God better. So I started realizing that God is the author of everything and the source of all goodness and positivity, so why don't I not just focus on God, but the extensions of God. In loving and appreciating works of God's art (any part of nature, living or scenic), you deeply honor God as well as show great thanks. In understanding God actually values your appreciation and study of God's works, you understand more clearly that God really and truly desires a two-sided relationship with you. You will feel closer to God the more you strive to be the best you that you can be and be thankful to God at all times. The more you know that you are doing right and good things that God would appreciate, the closer you will allow yourself to feel the actual and very real presence of God.

And that, is how you overcome being damaged, or feeling like you are: forgive the wrongdoer, replace the emotion, forgive yourself, replace the emotion, and then practice focusing on positive and good things more and more and then just let God inspire you through the rest. I know, I know, easier said than done, but I am living proof it is most certainly possible with God's help, as I, myself, once was damaged. God is with you.


Thoughts on overcoming being "damaged"? Please post below: