Infinite Mulligans

Today's topic is all about God's mercy. It is incredibly difficult to really grasp that God's forgiveness is actually and truly without limit. But, thankfully for me, it is...

In battling with the same mistakes over and over and over, not only was I getting sick of failing so many times, but I was getting very tired of letting God down and having the apparent need to test the limits to God's infinite mercy. I was ashamed that I need God's forgiveness for the same dumb things over and over. But God always provides beautiful insight...

God has the most amazing way of calming my neuroses and giving me crystal-clear perspective. God reminds me very often to stop taking myself so seriously. The problem, as far as I see it, is that my entire reason for existence is to do right by God and do good according to God's will, as God shares it with me. I also have a history of strong perfectionist tendencies. Add that with striving to be perfect for the only entity in the entire universe that actually is perfect, and it's simply a recipe failure and disappointment. I am simply a human, and humans tend to make mistakes. Lots of them.

In dealing with my personal failings with these repetitive mistakes, God reminded me to stop my whining and self-flagellation, accept responsibility for the wrongs, and to simply vow to stay focused on God and stop myself from repeating these things in the future. But can God really be that patient with someone who seems to never learn?

Yes, of course! The condition, however, is that in order to actually receive God's forgiveness for something, one must have a full and complete conversion of heart. You must renounce what you did, fix it, and then truly and earnestly work your absolute best to never do it again. And after you vow to yourself and fail, what does God say to you? Something like: simply try again, but harder this time. God knows we are humans and fully understands our weaknesses and accepts mulligan after mulligan, provided your heart and mind are honestly striving to change. Just keep trying the best you can is all that God really wants. Even if it takes an infinite number of mulligans. God's mercy is perpetually available, beautiful and perfect. Be open to it.