Embrace the Journey

Life truly is a path, not a destination. While it is crucial for individual growth to make positive goals and plans and go full steam after them, it is not in the reaching of these goals that makes one a success. True success is appreciating every single stage, every step, every moment it takes to get to where you want to go. Yes, life is messy. Life is hectic. Life is frustrating. Life is hard. But the rougher the journey it takes to reach your goal, the sweeter that success tastes. God allows this life to be full of issues, problems, accidents, hardships, tragedies, etc. because it is in the struggle that character is formed, lessons are learned, connections are made, family and community are strengthened, and faith is examined and tested.

Yes, life can be incredibly hard. And the lags between successes can be great, which is why you can't wait to be happy, find fulfillment, or express joy until you reach your goals. The overwhelming majority of your time is spent in the struggle, not in the victory. And sometimes, the victory never arrives. Do not get so wrapped up in the destination that you forget to live. Live every single day focused on embracing your loved ones, fully enjoying your bountiful gifts from God, and sharing them with others. Really think about how would you live your life if today were your last day and you never actually reach your goals or get to those milestones. Would you stop to smell the roses then? God made this life beautiful, fascinating, and pretty darn close to perfect, so really, take off those blinders that are aimed at a place you may or may not ever reach, and fully embrace your journey. Life is beautiful.


p.s. For those of you who were wondering if today was better than yesterday in the frustration department, the answer is: YES! :) But I knew it would be. God is shiny.

A Perfect Storm

Today was rough. Perhaps it was as rough as it was so that I would remember to appreciate when things go really well. Today, however, nothing went my way and the only luck I found was terrible. Do you ever have one of those days that is just off? Off in every way imaginable? Today was that day for me. Today was a perfect storm of frustration.

Not to whine or bore you, but I will share two examples of how frustrating today was: first, it was brought to my attention by my supervisor that the file that I was working on (and finished) yesterday somehow--and very oddly--disappeared. All of that work, gone. And then I had to spend a significant part of today rewriting everything from yesterday, with nothing to go off of but my memory (ouchies!). Second, one of my hamsters got out of its cage. My roommate called me at work to let me know this, although I had to wait until I got home to do a proper search and rescue (during which I accidentally broke one of my bookcases), and sadly without any luck of finding the hamster. Yeah, it was that kind of day.

Today was truly a whirling eddy of frustration in so many ways. Nothing was going my way and I prayed and prayed for strength, patience, and solace. God's advice on such a chaotic day: stay in the eye.

I was advised to stay in the eye of this perfect storm of frustration. So I did. I didn't cry, yell, walk out, punch the wall, or externally express my frustration in any way. I simply stayed calm. I didn't have much left after needing all of my focus to stay calm and not freak out, so I was pretty quiet today. I didn't pout, complain, or stomp about, I just stayed calm and kept my mouth safely shut.

God also reminded me that this too shall pass. Bad days, by the grace of God, are few and far between. I am to just be patient, stay calm, and the perfect storm of frustration will simply run its course and joyful things can return to the center of my focus. I am really looking forward to tomorrow. It will be a blessing from God, either way.

In Solving Moral Dilemmas

A situation with a friend the other day got me to thinking...how does one solve a moral dilemma? How does one know the right solution for sure when an obvious right or wrong doesn't present itself?

Case in point: I have a friend who is going through some health-related issues. He did not tell me about it until recently because he didn't want me to worry. I was kinda sad that he didn't tell me a long time ago and immediately thought he was in the wrong for leaving me in the dark. So, the moral dilemma: should my friend have told me of his health issues much sooner?

The answer: no. Because he chose not to. He didn't tell me because he didn't want me to worry and stress while he was going through diagnosis. He was withholding this information for what he really saw as my own good; he did it as a kindness. There would have been no actual or real benefit to my knowing sooner, it was just for ego-gratification that I allowed my feelings to be a little hurt in being excluded. Because there isn't a definitive good or bad that comes from deciding either way, it was in my friend's use of his free will, in conjunction with love and concern for me, that made it the morally-correct decision.

So, in solving moral dilemmas, always check for intent. Sometimes something that, on the surface, seems hurtful, was really done out of kindness, compassion, and love. And when such a decision is made, it is the morally right thing to do, by God.

Get Your Sleep

Today's blog entry is jumping off of yesterday's subject of the senses. As I mentioned, our senses taking in a literally constant stream of information. Each one of the five, all of the time. That is a ton of information for our brain to sort and process, both consciously and subconsciously. How does our brain keep up with such a perpetual influx of data?

Sleep. God has intentionally designed our lives to include the need for sleep. To be tired means to have one or more of our senses overloaded. Sleep is crucial in order for us to rest our senses and give our brains time to process through stuff that can be settled or sorted out via our subconscious. Sleep is also a prime time for our bodies to heal themselves more efficiently, as all of the energy in the body can be focused toward healing instead of daily activities. Sleep helps our muscles recover from over taxation. Sleep allows the time and opportunity to dream, which both heals the mind, but also the spirit. Getting enough sleep helps calm negative emotions and lightens one's mood. Sleep IS healing, in every way our beings need.

Sleep was designed by God as a gift for you to rest, repair, and refresh your body and your mind. Sleep well in the knowledge that God wants you to get your rest. I know sleep seems to be harder and harder to come by in this crazy, stressed out world. But perhaps that is part of why things get so dire; perhaps things would go better if people actually thought of good, restful sleep as an actual requirement, like air, food, or water. Because it is. You need sleep to function--to live--in this world. Truly.

God provided us with a wonderful gift that has an abundance of positive and constructive effects. I, for one, am deeply appreciative to God when I get a good night's sleep. Although the half-way decent ones are still really appreciated. Sleep is sleep, and it's all wonderful. I'm going to make sure I get as much as I need. I hope you do, too. Sleep well, friend.

How to Live in the Present

I had some insight from God about what it truly means to live in the present. I've been all about joy and wanting to live fully, but was kinda fuzzy on what 'living in the present' really means.

As it was explained to me, we each have our five senses (some, less, by accident or design) with which we interact fully and completely with the world we live in. The real and only way we live is via our senses. We are entirely dependent on them to allow us to experience and interpret what is before us. They are our connection to this physical world. They are what makes us alive.

And because we are alive, it is our senses that keep our mind connected to the physical world. And they do. All day and night. Our senses take in everything at all times. It's just our Reticular Activating System that allows us to disregard and ignore the vast majority of the onslaught of data that our brain is being bombarded with at every moment of our life. Yes, God has created our brain with the ability to automatically scan all incoming data from our senses for useful or needful things, which is the blessing required to allow us to have focus. By not having to pay attention to any specific information from our senses, we can then use our free will to focus our attention intentionally and specifically on something, via our senses.

Focus is a singularity, not a field. You can only fully and truly focus on one of your senses at a time. Go ahead, try to be 100% focused on what you are receiving from two of your senses. I'll wait...Yeah, I tried, too, and couldn't. At best, I waffled back and forth quickly between what I was seeing and hearing.

So, to make some semblance of a point: in order to live in the present, you need to understand this about your senses and really focus on what each one of your senses is taking in. And don't neglect any: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. When you find your focus, dig even deeper. Dwell on what you are experiencing and explore all dimensions of its Godly purpose and goodness. In order to live in the present, you must experience the present. To live fully is to dwell in the senses.

God loves you to experience the universe fully and presently. Explore and enjoy.

Fridays and Other Dreams

In the adventure that was today, I had some joyous interactions with my coworkers. One of the fun things to run into the ground with one particular work friend is how fantastic it is that it's Friday. We go back and forth and dramatize it and belabor it and tickle each other more and more with each over the top statement that we make. The buried truth though is that Friday is really a goal of hers. It is something she greatly looks forward to all week, which got me thinking about how important hope, goals, and dreams are at getting us through life.

When you dream, or look forward to the future and its possibilities, you are re-affirming life (since you are projecting yourself in a future with preferable circumstances), as well as best and fully using your free will by exploring the infinite positive options God has made available to you. Dreams, hopes, and setting goals show great respect for God and God's will for you that you live a full, positive, and constructive life.

So have dreams, even really huge ones. There's no harm in it. Also, always hope for the best possible outcomes and opportunities, keeping your faith in God that God will take care of it. And always have something, or actually, many things that you look forward to. Find joy in looking forward to a nice dinner with your family. Get excited about a trip you are taking, or a birthday, or seeing someone you haven't seen in years, or a walk on the beach, or a television show, or Christmas, or...anything at all coming up in your life. You can take anything at all on your calendar and find reasons that you are really looking forward to it. Explore that feeling. Explore your hopes and dreams. Explore how fantastically great anticipation feels. Get excited and look forward to something wonderful!

The Adventure of a Lifetime

Sounds exciting, huh? What adventure could this blogger have planned or is pondering? No one knows...it's provocative. Could it be a trip to the wild jungles of Brazil? Could it be a search for buried treasure in the Caribbean? Could it be a trip to China to explore an ancient and fascinating culture? Could it be a drunken plunder of the Emerald Isle? What could it be?

The answer: Friday. I'm going to wake up in the morning, God willing, and I will boldly face the mysterious, wild, dynamic, and joyous opportunity of Friday. Who knows what fun times will be had? Who knows what special moments will be shared? Who knows what silly joke is going to keep me giggling to myself all afternoon? Who know what delicious food I will enjoy? Who knows how many hugs I will give? So many unknowns, it tickles and spins the mind.

I love Fridays. But not any more than any other day. I seriously value Mondays or Tuesdays as much as Saturdays or Sundays. Each day provides great things to look forward to. Each day allows me opportunity to learn, grow, and develop myself. Each day allows me to feel and express joy and appreciation for all of the wonderful gifts God has put in my life. Each day allows me to connect with others, especially loved ones. Each day is a blessing. Each day has truly unlimited potential for wonderfulness. How exciting is that!

My friendly advice to you is to strive to live as fully as possible and understand that each day is very much the adventure of a lifetime. Embrace the thrill.

Embrace the "Ugly"

For most of my life, I had a strong aversion to unpleasant, abnormal, and ugly things. And once I recognized something as such, In my mind I would throw it in the box labeled "ugly" and think about it as little as possible. I threw many things in the Box of Ugly: deserts and their flora, slimy and creepy bugs, bats, dark clouds, pugs, weeds, most seafood, body piercings, etc...the box was pretty full.

But as I've matured, I've come to give focus to the things I used to consider ugly. Real and objective focus with special attention paid to both function (God's reason it exists) and artistic beauty. And when I look through these two filters, everything is beautiful and has purpose and is essential to God, and thus, to me. The more I focus and really study the thing I used to consider ugly, the more I embrace it as interesting and completely beautiful, as it is perfect in form and function according to God.

So now, when I look at a desert, for example, I don't see a dry, arid, wasteland that breeds nothing but misery. Instead, I see a dry, arid ecosystem, full of crazy interesting plants, animals, and mineral deposits, and beautiful displays of rusted reds, browns, and oranges in bold contrast to the deep blues and whites of the sky and clouds. When you take some time to really examine and focus on the "ugly" you really see it for its beauty, as well as acknowledge God as an incredible artist. With God, everything is beautiful. Embrace God.

Get Over Yourself

Earlier today, like a light going on, God showed me why I've been in a funk off and on the last few days: I've been too self-absorbed. I've been holding on to bad habits as well as procrastination and just being too wrapped up in the insignificant, often self-imposed, issues of the day. I've been praying the last few days to get back in sync with God, and a few times I would feel as if I were, and then slip into more negative thoughts. I couldn't figure out why I kept doing this. But then God instructed me to step back from my life. To remove any emotional connection I have to any of my issues. To look objectively at my life, to count and re-count my infinite blessings, to realize my great fortune, and to start focusing on what other people don't have in comparison. And to be grateful to God often.

God also pointed out that this path was created especially for me and to focus on the beauty, splendor, and wonder of this life. God wants you to accomplish good and wonderful things, but don't ever forget to step back, take some deep breaths, let go of yourself, and strive to feel God's very real presence in your life. God will get you where you need to go. Have faith.

Finding Your Faith

I learn a lot from God, through the lessons God wants me to learn and the experiences God wants me to go through. I have been through the gambit in just about every way and have been on a spiritual rollercoaster throughout my lifetime that would boggle any mind. I've been through very rough spiritual times: the screaming at God for answers, the anguish of feeling no God, the pleading for strength or even a little hope, the comforting years as a Catholic, the times spent as a new ager, a Jainist, an agnostic, and as a selfish heathen. Through all of that, which brought me to where I am today, I am grateful. God designed the perfect path for me to have an actual and deep connection with God through my faith. Only having gone through everything could I have reached a place of forgiveness (for myself, as well as others), a place of appreciation, selflessness, positivity, constructiveness, openness, and humility, which are required of anyone who wants to connect fully with God.

To find your faith, all you need to do is set aside all of your selfishness, worries, hostility, doubt, prejudices, sore subjects, shame, and ego. To connect with God, you need to open your entire heart and mind to God, not withholding any part of yourself or your memories. Anything in your memory that was a sin, beg forgiveness and vow to never fall that way again. Done. From there, just allow God's positive love and joy wash over you. Connect with everything good and positive from God. And stay connected. Having real faith means feeling God's joy most of the time. The joy of life, beauty, nature, caring, loved ones, and reaching out to others. It's about living in the present and maintaining a kind and positive attitude.

Now, examine your faith. Whether you're a member of an organized church or not, reflect on your faith. Dig deep and be truly honest with yourself: is your faith more of a chore than a real connection with God? Do you go to a building and go through the motions but would rather be somewhere else? Is your faith making you unhappy, or even miserable? Does your faith seem irrational or unreal to you? Is it something you believe just because?

If so, my guess is you haven't really tried to connect with God. Maybe you're living a life you don't want God to see (although God certainly does), or maybe you have conditioned yourself to find the entire topic of God boring or inconsequential. Maybe you have been socially conditioned to believe a certain way. Maybe you're just being selfish.

Open your heart to God. Explore what it really means to have a relationship with God. How do you interact with God? Do you show God any actually meaningful attention at all? Reflect. And if you do not like where you are spiritually, then change. Grow in your faith. Study your religion. Or study others. Open your heart and mind to what God in God's infinite goodness wants you to learn to grow closer to God. Be open, love God, and strive to deepen your connection with God. God is with you.

Embrace the Delusion

When I am really feeling my connection with God, when I feel an abundance of joy and really focused on God's will for me, I see God in everything. I see God in other people and the things they say. I see God in nature, clearly and fully how God is a real part of every single thing in this world. I see God in the media, in movies, and in music. I will hear a song I've heard a hundred times, and suddenly hear the lyrics through a positive and spiritual filter and find words of hope, love, and inspiration. I see God everywhere; the signs are plentiful.

My dear sister has struggles with depression. She was praying outside the other night, and asked God for a sign. She was open to one, and God provided one. Straight ahead in the sky where she was looking at that moment, she saw a shooting star. Was it an actual sign from God, or what it just a coincidence? My answer:

It was definitely a sign from God (but I'm a shade biased). Does it really matter though? My sister's faith had been waning and she asked for and received a sign. My sister saw it as a re-affirming sign from God, which deepened her connection with God. Even if it was technically a coincidence, finding it a sign from God does only good, so why not just embrace it?

Yes, I see God in everything, and yes, when I feel the messages speak directly to me (which they often do), I take them as signs that I am really connecting with God and on the right path. Do I accept that they could all be coincidental? Sure, but embracing the delusion is so much better for me.

Try to look for God speaking to you at all times through all things. You will find personal and unique signs just for you. I ask myself in each moment, what is God trying to tell me by showing me this? What positive thing can I glean from it?

God is everywhere. Embrace the truth of it. And embrace the delusion.

Before You Say Anything...

Pause.

When I open my mouth to say something to others, I pause. I take a brief second to scan what I'm about to say for any negativity, including hostility, rudeness, pettiness, ugliness, etc. I also scan it for effect: is the reaction or result of what I'm about to say constructive and builds up and helps others. The ability to pause effectively is a combination of the desire to be a kind, positive, Godly person, and focus. Focus is essential, as you will not be able to catch yourself before you say something bad without it.

I practiced this until I could be uber-aware of everything coming out of my mouth at the present. When you are truly orienting your heart and mind to God and goodness, censoring yourself will truly become second nature. It did for me.

Keep in mind how crucial focus is in being able to stop yourself from ever saying gratuitously negative or bad things. I've been out of focus with God off and on the last few days. And I became aware that while I was out of focus, negative things would slip out of my mouth without a second thought. I didn't become aware that what I was saying was negative until I had already said it. And always remember: you can't unring a bell. Once something is said, even if it is begged forgiven, it remains for a lifetime in the memory of those who heard it. Although I didn't say anything seriously regrettable, I still regret letting myself get that out of focus with God and spread any negativity.

I'm back in focus, and I can feel myself in control of how I interact with others. If it weren't for God, I couldn't possibly function in polite society. God helps guide you so much, if you just let God in. So my lessons are yours to learn from: practice pausing before you speak and scan what you're going to say for negativity. Practice focusing, both on God's positivity and being conscious of what you are saying. Practice it every single time you speak. Chances are, you'll be glad you did. God is focus.

Just Say Thank You

As everyone does from time to time, I allowed myself to feel a little low. I beat myself up over procrastination and bad choices. I've been a bit unfocused on God, almost if I was trying to put up barriers to avoid God's will. Not that I don't want to do God's will--I fully and truly do--it's just that I do have a fear of failure that dates back to grammar school and I greatly fear to let God down. But God gave me some insight: this path was made especially for me. Embrace it. Strive to spread goodness and fully enjoy all of God's gifts. It is in the not trying to fully live God's will that makes one a failure.

Every time I feel like giving up, God shares with me comforting love and lets me know that I am deeply valued, just as much as every other person. When I get down on myself, especially for making the same mistakes over and over, God shares with me God's mercy and lets me know that God has faith in me, even when I have none in myself. God knows my heart and my intent, and waits patiently for me to re-open my entire being to God and get back on track. God has given me so much, so many blessings, and so many wonderful people in my life! I have been especially blessed, yet when I am feeling most undeserving, God tells me to let go my regrets, sins, frustrations, and concerns to the past, where they belong; God tells me to relax, stay focused, and just say thank you.

Thank you, God! You are all.

Listen to the Yelling

Yesterday and today, God has been on my case to be productive. I have been putting off my next task for a bit too long, I think, so God's will grew louder and louder in my conscience until it had my full and undivided attention: write a book.

Not necessarily one of the things I would have put on my lengthy to-do list, but it's now right at the top. When God is trying to get me to do something, it is most evident; when I began working on it today, the ideas flowed faster than I could write them down. So apparently my newest task is to write a book. It will be about God and living fully.

I have trained myself, through practice and control, to hear God clearly in my conscience. It is simple for anyone to do, as long as you put away your selfishness, your impatience, your negativity, your anger, and your bitterness and really focus on God and doing good. If you are really focused on being open to doing God's will for you, holding nothing back of yourself from God, then you will definitely begin to hear it. Softly at first, the voice will grow louder and clearer with practice and the more good you do. The more you are in tune with God and doing good and right things, the easier it will be to hear God speaking through your conscience. And God has individual and unique tasks for each of us, all for our good and the good of others. Right this very second, God is yelling to get your attention through the barriers you have put up between you and God. God is calling you to be close, live fully, and do good while you thrive joyfully with others. Embrace God's call.

Reminder to Enjoy!

I woke up feeling down about myself and all of the things I still haven't done on my to-do list. I wasn't embracing the feeling and I wasn't consciously trying to dwell on anything negative, I just ran a little low on hope.

So, while sitting there at work and feeling in a funk, I decided to embrace the nudges God has been giving me all day. The nudge was to lighten up.

As I have a long history of taking myself too seriously, including this morning, I was splashed in the face with a reminder to focus on the joy. Life is wonderful and beautiful and mind-boggling complex and interesting and miraculous. Try to keep this in mind at every moment of your day. Embrace all that is good, all that is God.

With God giving me this reminder, I was like a new person! I shared laughs with my co-workers, I looked out my window at how beautiful nature is, I focused on helping my clients as fully and happily as I could...I found the joy. And I'm going to keep it as long as possible. And then try again. As should you. God truly wants you to be joyful. Find joy with God.

Nose to the Grindstone!

Time for some tough love (especially on myself)...

Understand this: the only way to reach your goals, improve your life, or get the things you want in life is through hard work and sacrifice. There is no other way. Really and truly. The only way for things to get better is to WORK toward making them better. Seems overwhelming, verdad?

Mais non! If you truly and really want to improve your life in any area, be it your work life, family life, financial life, social life, or spiritual life, you need to get a clear picture of where you want things to be better. Spend time exploring what "better" factually and visually looks like. IF it is truly and really a goal you really want to achieve, then why are you not going for them right now? Why do you only talk about a better life, situation, or environment? If it's something that you really and truly want, how are you not taking steps THIS VERY SECOND to achieve your constructive and positive goals? If you are not jumpin' to get jumpin' to make up a plan of attack and get after your goals, reflect on whether or not they are really what you want. Reflect on in with God, allowing God's input via your conscience.

And getting to your goals is way easier than you think. Make a very specific step-by-step plan to achieve your goal, and if that what doesn't work, make another, and another until you get there. Focus on having the goal, not the path it took to get there. Baby steps are easy. Just take them one at a time, doing each with full focus. In no time, you will succeed. God's guidance be with you.

Abandoning Your Selfishness

As discussed in the Revelation from God, selfishness is essentially the root of all sins. A very crucial thing you need to fully appreciate is the fact that God does not allow selfishness in heaven. There is no room for it. Nor is it welcome, in the state of perpetual goodness, community, and love that is God's presence. Now follow the logic...

If God does not allow absolutely any selfishness in heaven, and assuming that you would like to be with God after you are dead, you MUST, absolutely and fully, renounce and reject selfishness before you can be with God in eternity after you die. So why not abandon any and all selfishness now, while you still can affect your positive score column in God's book? And do not put it off, as you really don't know when your number is up. Truly. Abandoning your selfishness is much easier than you think, as all it takes is remembering to practice thinking about others before yourself. Just some food for thought.

Embrace God, as God embraces you.

Problem relinquishing control?

I know I do.

My youngest nephew is lazy, to put it charitably. He is absolutely the laziest child I have ever known. And he is allowed to be inactive and unproductive because no one ever taught him what work is, as nothing is ever required of the boy by his parents. No one ever forced him to work, have chores, and understand responsibility. His parents' reasons for allowing this is their own, but it's still tragic.

Today, I was trying to encourage him to pull weeds. He was being forced to "help" by his mother, so while I was standing their watching him "work" I could see it in his actions that he was going to give his minimal effort. He pulled one blade of the really tall grass, although only removing part of the shaft. He continued to do this one by one. Not exactly a Herculean effort to help is mother.

When I showed him a good method of getting the job done easily and quickly, he refused to even try. He would have no part of something that required any real effort. As I kept trying to get him to work, he refused harder and harder until he went running to his mom to complain that the task was just to hard and to request some other easier task to do. I was incredibly frustrated with his cowardice and his mother's acceptance and re-enforcement of his laziness and selfishness. I have talked to her several times in the past about her children lacking any chores or responsibilities and how bad that is for them, yet she has done nothing to fix it, only making it worse by re-enforcing it.

So, as much as I want to fix her children and help them to understand work, responsibilities, and caring about other people, I cannot. I cannot do a thing because it is all and completely up to their mother. How do you allow yourself to accept a situation that is horrible and you feel you have the capacity to solve, yet are absolutely not allowed to? How do you give up any and all control over a situation and are only allowed to observe the final outcome?

The answer is twofold: first, you don't ever give up on trying to help. Any guiding words or acts you could do to improve the situation, you should continue trying to offer them. Second, allow yourself to sit back and let God deal with things. God is good and always has a reason for everything, so just trust in God's providence.

Yes, I know giving up control is hard. I know, really and truly. But sometimes you have to just accept that you cannot influence the outcome. This is when having a strong connection with God is so important, as God will help you with this acceptance and grant you peace of mind.

I still want only what's best for my nephew and my sister, and I'm still going to try to help, but I have to just trust in God's plan. Which I honestly do.

Eliminating Stress

I have a sister, who I dearly love, who stresses over everything. She has allowed herself to stress and stress so much over the years, it has become her comfort zone. If there are no actual or real problems, she's prone to generate stress somehow. Not intentionally, but only because she has trained her subconscious that stress equals comfort.

Part of her stress is generated by her concern for timeliness and the care and helping of others. Part of it is low self-esteem, including the need to have the approval of others to allow herself to feel self-worth, which is ridiculous because she is a beautiful, creative, fully-capable, and dynamic person. I just wish she could really see that in herself.

As far as me, I don't stress. Ever. And it comes as easily to me as breathing. And I am able to not stress because of these three things:

• I trust fully, completely, truly, 1oo% in God. God will get me through anything and will be with me through every step of the way. Knowing that God is with me and in my corner, I know anything and everything will work its way out, one way or another, either way as part of God's plan for me.
• I don't ever dwell on the worst possible scenario. (My sister is legendary in this capacity, bless her heart ;o) .) My approach: I note the possible problems I could encounter, and have resolutions in mind for every one. Then, I forget all about the bad things that could happen (as they are no longer unknowns or scary, as I can attack each thing, as needed, because I have a plan in place) and just focus on the steps I need to take to accomplish what I'm trying to do. And perfect focus itself cures stress, as your are totally in tune with the task at hand, which keeps your mind from wandering to stressful thoughts.
• I don't think about or dwell on all of the steps I need to take to get something done. I really think of it simply: either something happens, or it doesn't. Ruining my emotional happiness and upsetting my peace of mind by allowing myself to stress is not going to have ANY impact on whether or not something happens or I get something done. In fact, stress actually hinders your functionality by occupying your focus from giving you best effort to the task at hand.

I know it sounds impossible to cure your stress, but I know it is most certainly possible. Just practice the above three things, especially building your trust and faith in God taking care of you. Stress, really and truly, is something you create. You allow your brain to dwell on the worst possible scenarios and feel overcome with details when all you need is to write down a clear plan of attack, with all the steps you need to reach your goals. You allow yourself to dwell on all the unknowns, when you just have to accept that your brain cannot function well with an unknown variable when you are trying to do anything. It leaves too much to the imagination to contrive, especially when you are thinking of horrible scenarios; so stay away from letting your mind ponder the unknowns when trying to deal with something, as nothing good comes of it. Do not continue to sabotage yourself and your happiness! Allow yourself out of your stress and just know everything will be okay. God will see to it, if you allow yourself to have true and earnest faith in God. God's peace be with you.

Finding Happiness Through Focus

Today was a beautiful day. I got around to quite a few of the things on my aging "to do" list. And as I focused on each thing I needed to do, I kept in mind the outcome that I wanted. I also stayed connected with God, who I know was giving me helpful hints throughout the day as I worked on accomplishing these tasks.

Here is a key element you must understand and embrace to find success in life: God truly speaks to you through your conscience and offers to you the best possible choice at any given moment if you just stop to listen. Stay connected with God, focus on hearing God's advice, and you will succeed. Guaranteed.

Focus, in general, is an important aspect of finding any success. When you focus attentively on the task at hand, it goes much more smoothly and minimizes accidents and sloppy efforts. Focusing also makes you self-aware of your needs and allows you to be much more open to opportunity, creativity, and the aid others can offer you. Maintaining good and healthy focus in the present also maximizes your ability to fully and earnestly appreciate your abundant and amazing blessings from God. Focus, when you stay in the present, yet shift it to others, also allows you great opportunity to best and generously help others, which is crucial for your spiritual well being.

In short, when you set your mind to accomplish good and positive things (God's will for you) and properly focus, you will find great success and more happiness than you could have possibly imagined. Allow yourself some faith, and focus, and God will flood your life with true happiness. Just try to be open to it, and focus. It is worth it and easier than you think.

Keeping Your Promises

I was listening to Lou Tice's Investment in Excellence CDs in my car this morning and drew an immediate parallel between what Lou was talking about and what I was dealing with personally in letting myself down over and over and not doing the things I need, should, and want to do. Lou's point is that if you are a person of honor, someone of your word--which I am--then why do you always keep promises or commitments to others yet regularly break them to yourself? Why are you not worthy of keeping promises to? The answer is obviously: you are.

I have been afraid of certain changes I need or want to make in my life (for my own benefit), and have been able to stay away from any progress because I allowed myself excuse after excuse after excuse. No MORE! When I make a promise, vow, or commitment to myself, I'm going to be a person of honor and follow through completely, as if I were doing it for someone I love.

I suggest that you try this, too. Set good, positive goals for yourself with reasonable timeframes, and vow to yourself that you'll take the steps required to go in the positive direction you want to head. Even a little, tiny step is okay, at first. Vow to yourself you will accomplish the first step, and then once that is done, the second one won't feel overwhelming at all. And then you will build momentum, and there will be literally no stopping you. Just promise yourself you will start and not quit until you are successful. God wants you to thrive. And God wants your word that you will.

Coping with Death

My work friend, Cheryl, died today. Apparently what I mistook as recovery was really just a brief reprieve from the inevitable. I will deeply miss her.

Cheryl was a good person. She had a happy demeanor and an uplifting, positive spirit. She was easy-going, kind, generous, and deeply sensitive to all of the people in her life. She gave to charities and really cared about the good of nature and the world at large. She was friendly, funny, incredibly bright, quick witted, and had an endearing smile and truly infectious laugh. She was focused on goodness and her spiritual connection with God and being the best Cheryl she could be. She was a gift from God, and I am deeply honored to have had her grace my life. She was joy.

In hearing the news right before I left work today, I instantly began to pray for the forgiveness of any of her sins and the welcoming of her spirit into God's eternal presence. I trust in God and especially God's infinite mercy, so I KNOW I will see her again after I pass. She was an extremely good person (one of my favorite people ever), so I am absolutely certain God will embrace her soul. She IS with God now. And that brings me great comfort, especially knowing I will be able to see her again.

But her passing still makes me deeply sad. When you love someone, when they are away from you it makes you miss them and wish they were here. And when they will be away from you for the rest of your life...well that's just sorrowful. Missing out on all of the wonderful times you could have had in the future...

Which brought me to an insight from God: You have many good and wonderful memories of her. Those memories were just as real and vivid to you as when she was still alive, this morning. Those memories are what you cherish about her. The times you had, the laughter, the dumb jokes, the great conversations, the motherly advice...all of the wonderful things that made up your friendship. Those are what make up what you know of her, basically, who she is. Embrace those memories and count every cherished memory as a wonderful blessing from God. That is what is going to keep her alive in your heart. Cherish the memories and forgive the missteps you've taken in your relationship. The little things are not important enough to lament. Your loved one wouldn't want you to feel bad, so erase any apologies you feel you needed to make and allow yourself to live. And live fully! Take care of your body by eating better and exercising regularly. Take care of your mind by challenging it, educating it, and allowing it to focus, yet be open. Take care of your relationship to God, as God is the origin of all that you enjoy. Be generous with others. Stay active. Enjoy nature. Build loving and long relationships. Live with God always in mind.

This is my best advice in dealing with death of someone you love. I am still sad. Sad especially for her husband, son, and grandbaby. They will obviously miss her the most and my heart goes out to them. I pray that they find peace and solace through God. But I know she is with God now, and that is the thing from which I draw the most comfort. I will miss you, Good Cheryl.

Cherish your loved ones!

Embracing Hard Work as Sacrifice

The last 24 hours have been quite tiring. I had a barbeque today at my house. Most of my family was there and it was a fantastic and relaxing time. My family is wonderful, and it was a real joy to host the last barbeque of the summer, and right on Labor Day. I am deeply blessed to have them in my life.

But back to the tiring part: I spent all of last evening and all of today up until 4 p.m. prepping, and cooking, and baking, and cleaning, and setting up, etc. It was very tiring and very hard, especially on the feet. Part of today I was working with a bad headache from dehydration because I would forget to stop and drink some water. It was a hard day's work.

But I only reflect back on how tiring it was, as I didn't think about my discomfort at all while I was preparing everything for the barbeque. I was driven while I worked. Driven by how nice things will look after I finish my tasks. Driven by how much I wanted to make my family comfortable and well-fed and happy. Driven by God re-enforcing positive affirmations about accomplishing my goals. But mostly driven by just how much I love my family.

I could have given up because of the overwhelming number of things I had to do. I could have given up because I was tired and sore. I could have given up on trying to put on this barbeque because I would much rather rest on Labor Day.

What I did by working so hard was to sacrifice for my family. I gave up my resting on Labor Day to make a happy and wonderful time for my family. And it was a wonderful time. My sacrifice of hard work was very much worth it, as I love my family dearly. It was a blessing.

So next time you are feeling overwhelmed and pained by hard work, just think of it as a sacrifice for the good of another. And if you embrace the sacrifice fully, you will feel blessed by God to allow you to make a sacrifice, as sacrifices count positively with God. Embrace hard work, embrace sacrifice, embrace God.

Hate your life? Start here:

With you.

Yes, believe it or not, you are 100% responsible for how miserable you are. Your life sucks, everything is horrible, you have nothing, you have no hope, blah, blah, blah...is it really that bad? Really?

You have two choices with your life: you can either dwell on every little thing, fret over all of the things you cannot control, obsess over problems in your life yet do nothing about them, or you can focus on the good and positive things you have been blessed with, set goals to where you want your life to go, dream about getting the stuff of your dreams, and turn that into a passionate drive to succeed.

You have free will. You can choose to focus on goodness, blessings, joy, and caring about others, or you can choose to keep the exact same mindset that has kept you in a negative place. You need to ask yourself some serious questions. First, why are you intentionally sabotaging yourself in order to keep you in such a bad and negative place? Second, what exactly has your negative attitude done for you thus far?

Well, it most definitely gives you an excuse not to try. Not to dream. Not to ever want to get to a better place than you are at this very moment. It gives you an excuse to die early. It also gives you the chance to never have to be held responsible for your own life and how miserable it is. It's not my fault, it's the job market, or the economy, or my boss, or my spouse, or societies...Oy vey. Blames off you, so you can have a wretched life and die thinking that life is just hard. (FYI, God knows better.)

So by refusing to hope, dream, set goals or even try, you are re-enforcing within yourself that you are so comfortable being miserable that negativity becomes home to you. And what exactly is going to change your life, if it isn't you? Winning the lottery? A random miracle? A rich dead relative?

The point is this: you are responsible for you, and you are only going to fix the problems in your life by first adjusting your attitude and focusing toward something good. God wants you to have a positive, joyous, and wonderful life. Why are you so against God's wishes for you?

God is good and positive. You should be, too.

Accepting the Pace of Development of Others

Last weekend, while perusing the booths at the state fair, I was solicited by a young woman who asked me how certain I was that I was going to heaven. In recently understanding the depth of God's mercy, I told her 100%, which threw her for a loop. She then went on about how I must have come to accept Jesus as my personal lord and savior. When I told her that wasn't my path, yet I was sure my connection to God was going to get me to a great place in the afterlife, she looked at me as if I was gassy and not excusing myself. She was headstrong in her dogma, and after speaking with her for a few minutes, realized that she couldn't get that there was a path other than the one she was on. My spirituality is as real and as strong as any person of an organized faith, it's just different. She couldn't grasp that, so I simply told her that if her faith connects her to God and makes her the best person she can be, then I honor it, and her, and bid her a good day. I don't quite think she understood what I was saying, but she was just in a different place in her spiritual and personal development.

Fast forward to today; I'm babysitting my beloved niece and nephew until tomorrow. It's a wonderful blessing to spend time with such wonderful kids, as it is this kind of opportunity that I will look back on fondly after they are grown. And plus, it's just a lot of fun to play like a kid with them.

In reflecting on both the woman at the Christian booth and trying to point out logic to my young niece and nephew, I realize that all people are in their very own process of development (intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually). No two people are in the exact same place in these areas of development and will not understand the things you do, no matter how many different ways you explain them. And this, as a recovering control freak, has been a very hard lesson for me to comprehend. Until today. And truly grasping this idea that not all people will not or cannot understand the things I say, as logical and simple as they seem to me, is crucial for my own development and my growing closer to God. And accepting this concept as a truth is a real test of my patience, empathy, and love of others. I cannot force people to understand--or even force them to want to understand--the important ideas God wants me to share. All I can do is offer, share and help as much as people want to accept, and then leave it to God. God calls all of us to fully connect with God. It just happens at different times and in different ways. Giving my patience and control to God was the only way for me to really understand this. Lao Tzu put it beautifully: nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. This obviously goes for the work of God in all its forms. Something to reflect on. God is most deep.

Approaching Bliss

I had a spectacular evening today. After I got home from work, I began to mow the lawn straight away. While doing so, I had time to reflect, pray, and connect with God. God told me to focus, and I did. I focused on what I was doing and it went smoothly and perfectly. I focused on the beautiful sky with its wispy clouds. I focused on the cooling summer evening and wonderful breeze that soothes the soul. I focused on the gorgeous different shades of green of the trees, plants, and lawn. I fully noticed the popping colors of the flowers and bushes. I noticed the sweet smell of cut lawn, along with lovely smells of flowers and growing things. I noticed the textures of the grass, trees, dirt, cement...everything was beautiful and wonderful and perfect and put there by God. I was overwhelmed with God honoring me so with so many wonderful blessings.

God is joy, and love, and generosity, and appreciation, and focus and when you practice these, you grow closer and closer to God. Pay attention to everything and embrace your life! Trust me, you'll be extremely glad you did.

Why God Lets Bad Things Happen

God gave me some serious insight today that is vital for me to share on the heels of the near tragedies with my work friends over the last few days. God let me know why God allows for bad things to happen. First, as mentioned in the Revelation from God, good, constructive, and loving acts are the positive, important, and lasting results of tragedies. Second, and most importantly, God allows for bad things to happen because it is the only way we can learn how to truly and fully appreciate the gifts from God that we do have. If everything were perfect and no one ever suffered and there were no bad or scary or terrible things, how could you really understand how good you actually and truly have it if there weren't bad things to contrast them against?

So there you have it: God allows for bad things to happen so you would quit being so negative and focus on the good and wonderful blessings you've received from God, especially your loved ones.

But what about those who suffer, are tortured, or die, often horribly? Why would God use people in this way? One, it's people or God's passive will of nature that cause the damage. God and society at large are just the beneficiaries, not the perpetrators. (Although I'm pretty sure God knew of this when designing our world.) Two, those who suffer or give their lives are blessed by God. Their pain, suffering, or deaths are counted in the good column when God reviews their lives after they die. The bigger the sacrifice, the bigger the credit. Victims of all bad things are blessed by God. They were gifted with Sacrifice, which is a selfless permanent offering of some part of yourself for the good of others. The Sacrifice of victims is their willingness to endure the worst of the worst so that we may truly embrace God's gifts and really and fully know what it means to be alive. Embrace and honor their sacrifices. Embrace your life, embrace God!

Not One Second Longer!

I have two friends at work who have suffered serious medical problems over as many days. Both are dear to me and I have worked with both of them for quite a few years. We know each other quite well and were in essence, good friends. The kind of work friends who really get along, communicate well, and really care about one another. They are dear to me.

The problem is that I've lagged in keeping in touch with them once they were relocated to a different floor of the building. It started out well; we would visit back and forth and e-mail pretty regularly just to chit chat. And then we visited and e-mailed each other less regularly...and less...until eventually it could be two or three months without any communication at all. Not good.

So when I found out about their medical problems, I was deeply distressed and obviously concerned for their health. I didn't stop caring for them or loving them, so instantly I began to pray. I started to pray for their instant recovery. I begged and began to bargin for miracles for them both when it hit me: God is going to do what is in God's plan. If God is going to allow nature to decline and for them to die, there has to be a reason. All things have purpose, and there would be a reason, however muddled or unknowable that purpose is. So when I realized that, I simply prayed for God to grant them strength, comfort, and alleviation from pain. Good and positive things for them.

Shortly after I prayed for them, God reminded me of my lapse in keeping close with people I truly and really care about and to not allow for this to happen any more. I am going to keep in much better touch with my beloved people because of this reminder from God. If they really had died, I would have the burden of guilt of not staying in touch with them better as well as the regret of not being able to tell them how much I love them. Do NOT let this happen with even ONE person in your life that you care about. Tell them how much they mean to you. Hug them, kiss them (if appropriate), and gush over them! Love them, and show it! And really, do not wait one second longer!

Lost hope? Need a miracle?

I've been on an emotional rollercoaster as of late. Today, at least the first part of the day, I was feeling shlumpy and bogged down in negativity. I knew I was re-enforcing it with my negative self-talk, but just couldn't seem to break out of it. Then I started to feel sorry for myself and just generally overwhelmed, which then made me begin to feel hopeless. It was the spiral of doom, and I didn't see a branch to cling to for the life of me.

I know you must know this feeling, too, as it's very human. The problem is that most people don't know how to break out of this cycle and unavoidably circle the drain into a pit of negativity where there is no exit in sight or even seemingly possible.

While I was sinking deeper and deeper into negativity, I knew God was still there and turned to God, yet again. It's a good thing God doesn't give up on giving me insight, as I would be an absolute disaster without it. While I was feeling overwhelmed and rather hopeless, I begged God for a miracle, a sign, a message, anything tangible to hang onto to avoid despair. Sure enough, God had something to tell me...

Open your eyes! That was the message, simple, but abrupt. So I did. I focused on what was exactly in front of me at the time, which was a picture of my newest and absolutely amazing little niece. Duh, I thought to myself. My niece is most definitely a powerful sign that God is present and creating incredible miracles for us. (The story of my how my niece came into being and that of my sister's perseverance to have her is an awesome story, but for another time.) The point is, after I looked at my sweet little niece, I couldn't be negative any more. Thinking of how smart and cute and perfect and sweet she is just brought such a flood of joy, the dam of negativity I was building burst wide open. I took a brief walk after that and just soaked in the blue sky, puffy clouds, trees, plants, and green grass that surrounds my office, and just thanked God every step of the way. I repeated over and over again, "Thank you, God." On my walk, I was able to see miracles everywhere and how gracious and generous God is. Now THAT is some perspective. In retrospect, I realize that asking or expecting God to give me a showy miracle so I could find a little hope was incredibly selfish, yet God still came through. So next time you have lost faith, feel overwhelmed, just open your eyes and really reflect on the good and positive things God has graced you with. Next time you need a miracle, just focus on God and God's wonderful gifts. If you do it with real attention, your mood will change and you will feel much lighter. I guarantee it. God is lovely.