Don't Get Mad at Yourself, Get Even

In reflecting on why I spend so much time beating myself up over poor decisions in the past, I came to accept, with God's help, it's because I'm a good person. I strive to do good and right things and when I screw up, I feel bad. Sometimes, I feel downright wretched.

But God reminds me, as often as I allow myself to listen, that the past is unchangeable, so I have to just accept the facts and move forward. I know first hand how incredibly difficult this is. And while I know that all humans make mistakes, which is our nature, I still want to strive to be the best person I can be, to try to be as perfect as possible.

And therein lies the rub: it is impossible to be perfect while we are on Earth with our free will. Free will, by its nature, includes the entire spectrum of deed, word, and thought. And sometimes bad or negative things result. Sometimes out of ignorance, but usually out of selfishness.

So what does one do with past decisions that one laments? Learn the lesson that needs learning, let go of the emotional pain (made possible through acceptance and prayer), and then really push forward with making the future better. And with focus and keeping God in mind as often as possible, you will get to a better place.