Focus on the Feedback from Others

I was in Starbucks this morning, tiredly trying to get through my drink order; I was on auto-pilot. I thought I was being pleasant during my interaction with the barista, but as he handed me my change he said, "I hope your day gets better."

Wow. I woke up, but a little too late. I only then realized that I was being a bit of a downer, although it was totally unintentional. I thought I was nice enough to the barista, although I truthfully wasn't paying enough attention to remember. It was only after getting a reality check from someone outside my own head did I realize my attitude was a bit off. That was my wake up call for the day, and I really sought after that to be courteous, friendly and attentive to anyone with whom I interacted. That response from the barista was the feedback I needed to get myself in check.

So today's lesson is that it's a good idea to actually pay attention to how other people are responding and interacting with you. In addition to listening attentively, look for more subtle signs of emotional discord in their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. These all give clues as to how the other person is receiving and processing you in his or her head. So pay attention to their reactions and adjust yourself as needed to maximize good relations and mutual well being.

Ah, I learn more and more of the obvious every day thanks to focus. Be well.