The Joy of Television

Television is most definitely one of the best inventions of the previous century. It binds people together and exposes people to a world they most likely will never be able to experience. It is responsible for visibly connecting our global society and instantaneously sharing information with all people. It is a fantastic and important invention.

And fun. Television brings people so much joy. I can certainly attest to this. Granted, I still watch too much television (although I continue to cut back), but the shows I do watch make me very happy. So for fun, I've decided to share my favorite shows (presently airing), which are in no particular order:


Simpsons - okay, this one was listed first for a reason. Consistently goofy and great characters. This has been a joy in my life for over 20 years.

24 - I can't help but get instantly wrapped up in the action and craziness. Sure, you have to suspend belief, but it's still a really entertaining show.

Glee - the name says it all. Being set in a high school, the writing can be a shade sophomoric, but the singing is GREAT. Worth a watch, if you don't already.

Futurama - from the makers of The Simpsons, and probably better written. It never really picked up a huge following, but might still make yet another comeback this coming year. Here's to hopin'.

Heroes - although the writing is a little lacking, the fun of superheroes makes this one great to watch. But enough Sylar already!

30 Rock - currently the best live-action comedy on television. Tina Fey is a comic genius.

So You Think You Can Dance - the art of dance is so beautiful and awe-inspiring on this program, it is a must watch. And I mean it.

The Office - wonderful comedy. Still.

Ghost Whisperer - the most dramatic thing I watch, but the heart of this show is all about goodness, forgiveness, and healing. This show is emotional art, and rarely does it not make me cry. (That's right, I said it.)

Saturday Night Live - so integral to our society, it's been an institution for over 35 years. Sure, sometimes it's hit or miss on the sketches, but the hits are fabulous.


I don't tend to watch too many dramas. It's not that there aren't exceptional dramatic shows--there are a ton--but I don't really need much extra drama, sadness, murder, blood, and courtroom antics in my life. I do enjoy my comedies, which is obvious from my list. I almost put Community and Parks and Recreation on the list, as they are quite funny, but they're still in their first seasons and don't have their full legs yet.

What are your favorite shows and why? Post them here:

Is There a Balance of Good and Evil?

Yesterday, I blogged about the generosity of God and how extremely grateful I am for it. And good news keeps rolling in, which is an embarrassment of heavenly riches, but I'm okay with hoarding God's bounty.

I didn't used to be. I used to believe that there was only a certain amount of good and positive things that could happen, almost like I thought God maintained a karma-like balance. I used to try to bargain with God, willing to sacrifice and suffer for the good of others who needed God's good will more. In reflecting, however, I realize what a limited and truly insulting view that was to take towards God. That kind of karmic thinking makes the assumption that God only has so much goodness to go around. And God, being omnipotent, has zero limitations, including those regarding love, generosity, and mercy.

So the answer: no. Good and evil are not even remotely balanced. And the main reason is that goodness is divine and evil is human-made. And finally understanding this truth is a beautiful blessing in and of itself. God is great. Truly.

The Generosity of God

Today's blog is all about giving thanks to God. Many harsh issues, mainly health related, have been going on in my family lately. And I've been praying up a storm (as Grandma used to say) for positive resolution for all. And while time is still needed for total resolution of all my family's problems, obviously, I must trust in God's providence and keep a positive outlook through it all. It's not always easy, but, nevertheless, crucial to keeping hope alive.

I just really want to give thanks to God that so much of the news, all around, has been encouraging. But God's generosity is noted across the board in all aspects of life, from the beautiful sunrise this morning with that random shade of peachy-orange to the life-sustaining rain we've been getting to the adorable smile and wave from an 18 month old red-headed toddler who came in today with a customer. God is everywhere. May we all stay conscious of God's love and generosity at all times. Thank you, God.

The Blessing of Family Christmas Traditions

With Christmas fast approaching, I've been able to turn some of my attention to the joy that it brings. And what keeps Christmas so special year after year is, in large part, due to family traditions.

While my family doesn't generally string cranberries or go Christmas carolling, we do have a number of wonderful traditions that help enhance the holiday, as well as strengthen our familial bonds. Traditions are respected and participated in by all family members, so they are integral in giving Christmas real depth and re-enforcing our connectedness.

While there are traditions surrounding Christmas decorations, gift giving, and many delicious recipes, my favorite family tradition is that you simply don't miss Christmas. You could be in jail or on a four year mission to Mars, and it would still be required that you find your way to the family each Christmas. And we all do. No matter the state of family members or fights or anything else, we always know we will see each other at least once a year. And that togetherness, to me, is the most beautiful and crucial part of the entire holiday.

May you be with your entire family during this precious Christmas season, and embrace the blessings of your own family traditions. May we all remember that it truly is the season of joy, and that it is family that makes it so.

Penitential Offerings

Life has been a bit of a struggle lately, but things have improved enough to allow more time for reflection. Granted, even the worst events that have occurred to me personally pale in comparison to the tragic and horrible situations many others must deal with on a regular basis. I have been incredibly blessed.

What I've come to do, even with the small, disruptive or annoying things that happen to us all daily, is simply to not dwell on how I feel about it, but rather accept it as it is and offer my discomfort to God as penance for past sins. And I thank God for the opportunity to make amends, even if it's in a minute way, for the wrongs of my past. Even if I don't receive heavenly credit, per se, at the very least I reflect on my wrongs, re-enforce my change of ways, and strive to be even a better person. So it is certainly not in vain.

This approach just helps me give a positive spin to negative things that happen. It helps me, so perhaps you might find this approach useful as well. Life is hard, but it all boils down to your attitude. If it is good and positive, then you will always find hope, and peace. God be with you.

Philosopher du Jour: Aristotle (Regarding Habits)

I enjoy the writings of the philosophers and glean a ton of helpful wisdom from them. Recently, quotes from Socrates and Confucius were discussed in my blog. Today, it's Aristotle's turn:


We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.


This quote is so deep, I need diving gear even to ponder it. But let's break it down, philosophize it, if you will. To say that we are what we repeatedly do seems to be obvious, but this part requires all thinking people to reflect on what they do, day in and day out. What do you do with your day? What habits, good or bad, do you have? Those ARE you, the essence of what describes you as a person. Your habits are how you are defined, both by yourself via your expression of free will, and by others via what you project to the world about your character via your actions. If you sit in front of the television--or computer--all day long like a vegetable, for example, your habit is being a vegetable. And hence, you are a vegetable.

Excellence is brought into the equation with the understanding that it is a desirable and noble descriptor one wants describing one's actions. And who doesn't want to be excellent?

It does no good to repeat bad, poor, or incorrect actions, as you limit your ability to improve. I had a wonderful tennis teacher/freelance philosopher, Mr. Freund, in college who used to always say, "Practice doesn't make perfect. It's only perfect practice that makes perfect." Quite sage, indeed. In tennis, during a serve, for example, if your form is off, if your racket is in the wrong position, or if your toss of the tennis ball over your head is sloppy, no matter how many thousands of hours you practice serving, your serve does not have the ability to improve. How could it? Only perhaps by divine intervention, as the technical ability for the perfect serve is fully and completely absent.

I hope you reflect, as I have and will continue to do, on your daily habits and improve them where you see they could use it. Reflect and pray on it; let God help. And God will.

The Hardest Lesson of All

I've learned a great number of really tough lessons lately, but the one I've struggled with the most is that there are actually unsaveable people in this world.

I've always been optimistic when it comes to people's character and potential for salvation. I've always just accepted as fact that every single person will be touched by God and called to the side of light, goodness, caring, and love.

God has pointed out to me quite clearly recently that some people just cannot be reached (in this life, anyways), i.e. saved, due to a multitude of factors, including but certainly not limited to too damaging a childhood.

I had a customer at work the other day who was in his early 20's. He was the epitome of a gang banger and dressed the part with the droopy embroidered drawers, bandana, hat with the size tag still on it, and enough "bling" to delay him considerably at airports. He shared with me--quite freely--the odors of cheap liquor and pot. My conversation with him was a shade lopsided, as I could only pick out a few of the words through his mumbling, and the words I did actually hear let me know at no point in his life did he ever value education, good manners, or respect for the English language. Is this guy saveable?

Don't know, and frankly, I wasn't concerned with him. He brought with him his young son--maybe five years old--who was dressed in the costume of his daddy's profession. Five year olds do not make good gang-banging drug dealers, no matter how adorable they are. That poor little boy is looking at a hard and ugly life and is obviously being conditioned and brain washed into it. That boy, without a cataclysmic change in his life, will end up exactly like his father.

So what is the lesson in seeing an apparently hopeless child, especially one I have absolutely no chance of being able to help or influence in a needfully positive way? What can I do?

Nothing, except pray. Pray that God intervenes; pray that God still gives that cute little kid an open heart and a call to a more positive and constructive life. And then leave it in God's hands.

Which brings me to my point: it all boils down to faith. God sees into the souls of all people, obviously, and will call the ones God knows can and will answer. That little boy's salvation, whether he knows it or not, is left to God. And it is entirely at God's discretion as to whether that boy will be saved. His current family situation doesn't seem to give him good odds, but God's will ALWAYS happens both in this life and the next. God's will is always good and just, and that is where my faith lies. Thanks be to God always.

Caught Red-Handed, Figuratively Speaking: God

As you all know, my life has been a whirling eddy of disruption and misery as of late. But now, as the dust settles, it has become crystal clear to me that it all had significant purpose and reason; God most definitely needed to shake me to the core to wake me up to a lot of changes that needed to occur in my life.

Of course, during all of this trauma, I wasn't able to step out of my situation to remember that precious metals must be put through the fire in order to be purified. While I realize I'm no precious metal, God definitely has bigger plans for me. My faith has been tested--severely--and I'm so happy to say my faith is growing even stronger for having gone through my recent pain and suffering. God may work in mysterious ways, but it doesn't take a forensic scientist to lift God's fingerprints off of what has been going on.

I'm onto you, God. And thanks for not giving up on me, even when I did. Your patience, mercy, and love are completely overwhelming. In a good way. :)

The Brilliance of Confucius

The other day, I blogged about how a certain quote from Socrates really helped give me insight into some issues with a certain person that I was forced to deal with over the weekend. Well, I was sitting there, fretting and feeling quite overwhelmed by the evil and wrongs that were spitefully done to me, when I came across a quote from Confucius, which I could have easily interpreted as a direct text from God, as applicable and important as it was to see at that very moment:


To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.


Wow. How wonderfully profound and uplifting! So the best approach I have now, in the wake of such evil, is to simply forget all of it as fully and quickly as possible. With a little practice and time, this will get easier and easier. Soon, this person and all of this person's damage (and great drama) will be just a distant memory. All my thanks go to God, for sharing with me this beautiful wisdom. And to Confucius, of course. He wasn't too shabby. :)

Spirituality, Delusion, and Evil

I've always thought that spirituality meant a strong (and growing) relationship with God, essentially. It has only recently begun to seep in to me that "spirituality" isn't always about being good or about doing positive, honest, and righteous things by God. There are some people who use their spirituality, such as radical Muslim extremists (although not limited to them, by any means), to justify any and all selfish behavior and, hence, worship darkness instead of light. So in this vein, I suppose even satanism and devil worship could be considered "spirituality," as oxymoronic as that still seems to me.

The reason these people are so dangerous is that they have fully and truly deluded themselves into thinking their position is right by God. If you are doing things out of spite, anger, and cruelty, you obviously are not right with God. But then again, some people embrace the darkness as if it were light, hence the delusion. The best that can be done with people like that is to remove them from your life, protect yourself fully, and pray that God gives them the wake up call they sorely need. God help their pitiful souls in this life and then next. Indeed, may God have mercy on us all, every one.

The Wisdom of Socrates

To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge. -- Socrates


I've come across this quote from Socrates in several places over the last few days, but I wasn't quite piecing together what God was trying to tell me. Until today.

I now realize that God was bracing me for today, in which I found that this saying holds especially true in regards to people. It is truly impossible to know certain people; I used to think I knew someone, yet I was sadly mistaken. The selfish and irrational behaviors of others are sometimes beyond reason, and apparently accountability (although God leaves no evil unpunished, that is for certain). And accepting this of a person aids me in understanding them completely. Although the road to recover from their damage will be long and arduous, I will be a better person for having learned this lesson. And that is a very good thing. Stay focused on God (a positive reminder for us all).

The Foggy Forest of Emotion

Recent events have got me to thinking about how emotions gum up rational thought and moral reasoning. When a person puts all of his or her time and energy into emotionally reacting to everything--essentially using one's emotions as a moral compass--then the odds of good and rational results can only be left to chance.

And it is very much like a fog; when one is caught up in emotion (and I know from recent experience), one truly cannot objectively see what's before them. It takes a tremendous amount of focus to overcome this emotional fog, but it's a lot like not being able to see the forest whilst in the middle of it.

I'm not quite out of that forest yet, as I have some intense personal distractions that, God-willing, will be resolved soon. But at least, with self-awareness of my emotional state, I can approach what's coming as objectively and optimistically as possible. At least that is my goal. May God help us all maintain clarity.

The Death of a Friendship

Losing a friendship is often like an actual death, as it needs to be mourned in much the same way. One must process the residual feelings of sadness, regret, anger, pain, loss, etc.

Losing a friend is always a sad thing, and losing a lifelong friend is downright bitterly sad. This happened to me recently, with a friend of over twenty years.

The hows and whys? Let's just say things were said--on both sides--that did permanent damage and could not be forgiven. And when both people feel hurt, and justified, then no repair can happen, as listening ceases at that point (yes, I was just as guilty of this). The other half of the problem is that of change. When one person in a friendship changes, and the other doesn't, well sometimes an impassable chasm is created. This is also known as "growing apart," although this usually occurs over a long period of time. In our case, the change was sudden, perceived as such on both sides, and the change of the other was simply unacceptable. But I suppose there's no point in beating a dead horse.

Yes, the whole thing is so very sad and regrettable, but one must recover and move on. And after such a thing happens, soul searching and personal improvement is mandatory, lest one be destined to repeat history. And I have no intention of letting this happen again. Time for much prayer and reflection.

Dealing with Exhaustion

I'm exhausted, and have been for a few days now. And I know this is a really common problem for a lot of people, so I have been thinking about the best ways to deal with it. And here are my suggestions, for what they're worth:

Dealing with Exhaustion

1. It's Temporary - keep in mind that it is a temporary condition (unless it's chronic, obviously, like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). You will feel better eventually.

2. Stay Focused - even the smallest tasks can be dangerous if you don't pay attention. And if you are overly tired, never drive; it's equivalent to drunk driving.

3. Delegate - if you can, share the burden of your daily tasks. Loved ones will jump at the chance to help you. Really.

4. Find Pick-Me-Ups - if you do caffeine, do so. If sugar perks you up, have some (if your diet allows). Singing, dancing, and laughter are all positive eye-openers. Sometimes a quick chat with a good friend is a sufficient booster.

5. Exercise - nothing wakes a body up faster than blood pumping through it.

6. Rest - as often as you can during your day, rest. Sit down between tasks. Lie down, even if you can't nap. Shutting your eyes for a few minutes can sometimes feel like paradise.

7. Eat Well - proper nutrition plays a huge role in how much energy one has.

8. Remove the Excess - any extra noise, light, distractions, or commotion can wear on your ten times faster when you're already tired. Be pro-active and eliminate what you can, including non-crucial tasks that could be put off until you feel better.

9. Ask Your Doctor - if your exhaustion is persistent, maybe your doctor can help.

10. Check Your Bed - study your bed, as it might be the cause of some of your problem. If you're not 100% comfortable when you lie down, you should be. Try to remedy that as soon as you can.

11. Change Your Times - push up your bedtime and back your wake up time as much as you can. Even a few minutes can make the difference.

12. Pray - God can help, too. Just ask.

Saintly Old Lady vs. Murderous Young Thug

Earlier today, being tired and a shade too grumpy, I pondered over being judgmental, as I tend to get when I'm in such a state. I know, in theory, it's wrong, but then I thought about how I do it all of the time; I prefer good people over bad, that's just how I roll. But then I got to thinking about the intrinsic value of the individual, and how much character plays in how much I like them as a person. I suppose this is natural because this helps us decide whom to embrace and whom to steer clear of. But what about God: since God loves us all equally, shouldn't we strive to do the same?

Well, of course. Sure, God loves us each the same, but our behavior...needless to say, that's how God judges us in the end. So how can it be wrong to judge others when that's what God does? Frankly, it's not. That's how we deem who should be in our lives and who shouldn't be. But being human, we must be careful how we use our judgments of others. At worst, our judgments must yield a neutral result, and at best, it should yield constructive help for the ones around you with the character flaws. Loving all people, even the worst of the worst vile and evil murderers, is based on their God-given value, not on their character. And while you may despise what the murder does, one must accept that even murderers, while they are still alive, have the potential to be saints. And that potential is what is to be loved, obviously not their present behaviors.

So then, that got me to thinking (how, I'm not terribly sure): if I saw a burning car wreck with a saintly old woman and a murderous young thug trapped inside (how the two got in a car together is peculiar to begin with, I know, but I digress), and I could save only one of them, which would it be?

Originally, I was thinking that I would save the old lady, as she's a good person (and remember, I like good people), but then I thought, what is really important? The old lady has no worries (as far as I can tell) with being with God after she dies, but the thug...well, the thug only has the potential. But it's that Godly potential that is to be loved and valued. Ultimately, the most important thing in this life is where we end up in the next. With the old woman obviously squared away with God, I would have to save the thug, as hard as that would be to do. The thug needs the salvation, the old lady already has it.

Who would you save, and why? Post a comment here:

On Racism

My sister and her hubby, my bff, turned me onto Flight of the Conchords (from HBO), and loaned me the first season on DVD. If you haven't seen the show, you really should try to. It provides great joy through being absurd, clever, and absolutely hilarious.

Earlier today, I watched the episode in which the Indian guy who runs a fruit stand gets extremely "racist" against Jermaine and Bret (the two white guys who make up the novelty band, Flight of the Conchords) because he thinks they are from Australia. Apparently, the fruit vendor has great hatred towards Australians; so much so that he adamantly refuses to sell them any fruit at all, and even has the apple that Bret touches destroyed. All turns out fine, however, when the Indian guy finds out that they're actually from New Zealand and not from horrible Australia. After that, they become friends.

This is a fantastic example of how stupid racism is. Racism is not based on judging an individual based on merit or character, but rather on negative stereotypes or assumptions of a group. Racism is a pitiful character flaw, often based in ignorance. And while it is perfectly natural for people to fear what they do not know, as healthy fear helps keep us safe, fear of unfamiliar races and cultures is not rational, since it is based on unenlightened, and oft unexamined, negative emotional responses. But then again, how can ignorance be anything but irrational?

But ignorance isn't always the problem. Sometimes, highly-educated and worldly people are extremely bigoted, because the other source of racism is low self-esteem. People who feel bad or insecure about themselves (and usually lack morality or common decency), tend to want to insult or diminish the value of others so that their own stock rises. Obviously and objectively, that doesn't work, and only makes the racist appear sad, desperate, and truly pathetic (to which the racist is almost always oblivious).

The differences in race and culture of the people of the world are not at all scary, but are beautiful, interesting and intentionally created by God. And no, it is not racist to point out that certain people are a different color than you (or even joke about it). That's not racism, that's descriptive dialogue. Racism only enters into the equation when anything negative (in thought, word, or deed) is attached to the difference.

I know that, eventually, in our growing global community, racism will atrophy until it will only be found in history books. But we can only get there if we all strive to be enlightened and accepting of all others. Play your part in getting us to this better future. Stay rational and embrace the differences amongst God's children. And remember: God loves us all the same and won't judge us on the color of our skin, but on the content of our character. Emulate God always.

Everything Happens for a Reason, Revisited

When things tend to be random, seemingly meaningless, or are going down-right terribly, I have a bad habit to get self-involved and have doubts that God has a plan. I know it's based on my selfish opinion of how I want things to go, but nevertheless, I get wrapped up in my self too much to step out and accept that even the mundane has a purpose. But it does. Everything actually happens for a reason, and today was a great affirmation of that fact.

I took my brother to the emergency room to get a doctor's note so that he could return to work, after having broken his clavicle seven weeks ago. While there, the doctor found my brother's blood pressure to be critically high. So high, in fact, that my brother's life could be at risk if he left it untreated. Well, what a convenient bit of luck, then, that it happened to be discovered. The overall odds of my brother having gone to get his blood pressure checked and treated was next to none, as he lacks insurance, and would never have gone to see the doctor had he not been injured.

But praise God for the wonderful blessing of my brother's broken clavicle (which is already healed). He is now on medication to get his blood pressure in line and is earnestly going to try to stop the habits that caused it. When a turn of events happens in such a way that a bad accident turns into a blessing...well, I can only thank God and be reminded from this that everything truly does happen for a reason. God is marvelous!

Don't Get Mad at Yourself, Get Even

In reflecting on why I spend so much time beating myself up over poor decisions in the past, I came to accept, with God's help, it's because I'm a good person. I strive to do good and right things and when I screw up, I feel bad. Sometimes, I feel downright wretched.

But God reminds me, as often as I allow myself to listen, that the past is unchangeable, so I have to just accept the facts and move forward. I know first hand how incredibly difficult this is. And while I know that all humans make mistakes, which is our nature, I still want to strive to be the best person I can be, to try to be as perfect as possible.

And therein lies the rub: it is impossible to be perfect while we are on Earth with our free will. Free will, by its nature, includes the entire spectrum of deed, word, and thought. And sometimes bad or negative things result. Sometimes out of ignorance, but usually out of selfishness.

So what does one do with past decisions that one laments? Learn the lesson that needs learning, let go of the emotional pain (made possible through acceptance and prayer), and then really push forward with making the future better. And with focus and keeping God in mind as often as possible, you will get to a better place.

Reflect and Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is my sentimental favorite holiday. Christmas has all the glitz and glam, but Thanksgiving is so rustic, so simple, it brings me great joy. But the primary reason I love it so is because of my family. Spending time with my dear and wonderful family is the best thing in my life, and then add a FANTASTIC meal to boot...well, that's just a winning combination for a perfect day. Truly.

So here's a list of my most sacred and appreciated blessings (yes, I do love my lists):

1.) Life (necessary for all other blessings)

2.) Family (I truly cannot stress enough how lovely and fun they make my life. My life is perfect because of them.)

3.) Friends (they can be like family, just less blood related)

4.) All good people (they are the salvation of this planet)

5.) Nature (For real, have you see it? I mean, God's beauty and creativity are off the hook!)

6.) God's mercy, patience, and limitless love (without these, I would be in big trouble)

7.) My house (to me, it is perfect, as flawed as it is)

8.) My car (as banged up as it is, I am greatly blessed, as many go without)

9.) My job (I've been HUGELY blessed as far as my job security and lack of job stress)


Appreciation requires focus, and Thanksgiving is the one day in particular during which proper focus is paid towards one's blessings. And I have an embarrassment of riches as far as blessings are concerned. I hope you have as well. God be with you on this important and precious holiday. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Wake up call

There are things that happen in one's life that force immediate change of ways, and my recent health scare was that for me.

As altruistic and positive as I make myself out to be, I am still just a human, with the ability to make bad choices, do dumb things, ride an emotional roller coaster, and be selfish. And lazy, don't forget lazy.

Which brings me to my wake up call: I have abruptly realized that it actually is important to pay attention to one's body (your most intimate gift from God) and take the best care of it as possible. Needless to say for anyone who knows me, I have room for improvement in this area. I plan to stick around for at least 100 more years, so I have to be sure to take care of the vessel that will let that happen.

Living is a wonderful blessing, so I want to be sure we are all around for a long time, especially you. By the way, I'm not kidding. If you read this, that means you vow to take care of your body with proper nutrition, stretching and exercise, regular check-ups, and rest. Ha ha, now you have to, no take backs. You'll be glad you did, anyways. Take good care of yourself.

Facing Death Successfully

Death is one scary s.o.b., no doubt. The idea of it is so final and so unbearably sad. Yet we all have to face our own mortality sooner or later. (I pray for us all much later.)

Having faith in God is a wonderful comfort, but doubt is a natural human response to anything and everything. So when one faces that what comes after this life is truly unknown, with or without God, the fear of this mystery can grow exponentially.

Through a recent cancer scare, I came face-to-face with the abyss. Not literally, but in my mind. I came to realize that infinity is an overwhelming idea and that dwelling on things over which you have no control is quite literally madness. And then God reminded me return to center, grab back my focus, and live the heck out of the rest of the time I have, no matter how many decades it is.


So here's my Inspirational Guide to Facing Impending Death, Yet Appearing Cool as a Cucumber:

1. Don't think twice about the inevitability of death. Seriously, what's the point?

2. Clear your conscience, make amends for wrongdoings, say everything good you can to your loved ones, and live righteously with God guiding you through your conscience as you take your final bows. It's all about approaching the finish line properly.

3. Do your own prep: I know it's not fun to think about, but write down and share with your loved ones your final wishes and such. Yes, have a will.

4. Give your junk away: pass treasures along to those you wish while you can actually share with them the sentiment. (Come to think of it, you don't even have to be dying to do this one.)

5. Organize your legacy of pictures, journals, books, keepsakes, etc. Share with those to whom you pass these most precious heirlooms their importance and catalog what you can. (Ditto.)

6. As you get closer to the checkered flag, stay focused on how much God loves you, God's truly limitless mercy, and focus on the wonderful people who have passed before you. They're already there, where ever there is, so maybe they're keeping an eye out for your welcome. Ya never know.

7. Thank God for everything, as every second on this Earth is a beautiful blessing. Short stay or long, everybody leaves this life with some memory that is worth cherishing. Perpetually remember all of the love you shared during your life and all of the loved ones with whom that love was shared. Focus on all of the great and wondrous creations in nature, and thank God for how perfect it all is.

8. And, if you can, try to go in your sleep. I hear it's better.

Embrace the Blessing of Family

God designed our human society intentionally with families being at the center of it all. God knew getting through life, even simply surviving it, was an incredibly impossible feat for an individual human. God built into our society a support network already in place: the family.

Beyond life itself, family is our most sacred blessing. It is the center of strength, support, love, unyielding generosity, shared memories, kinship, and even friendship. My best friends are my family and it fills me with so much love and joy to say so. They are all truly incredible people. Each one. My life has found its fullness of love and happiness with my family. If I died today, I die knowing I have been fully blessed with the best possible family. And totally loved.

Okay, enough sap-fest...My words for the day: cherish your family as fully as you can, and where family is lacking, build deep relationships with those you love and trust. Life truly is a rocky challenge, but with support from loved ones, we can all get through it beautifully.

Do Big Things

Lessons truly are everywhere, if you're open to noticing them. Earlier today, I watched this week's episode of Survivor in which one of the contestants, Dave, said, "You've gotta be willing to make some big moves if you want to win at this game." In the context and nature of Survivor, this statement is a given, but in life...

In order to have big successes and to have significantly wonderful things happen in your life, as well as positively impacting the society at large, one must take big chances. Put yourself out there. Try things you've never tried. Make friends with everyone you meet. Dream big and try to make it your reality. Travel more. Create a charitable organization. Run for office. Run a marathon. Start your dream business. Know that your possibilities are truly only limited by your imagination.

Life really is WAY too short, so make every single second matter. Take every opportunity to live fully by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Take big risks towards good and positive things. You only live once (as far as we can tell), so make big plans and go after them. You never know until you try, and remember, taking big risks is the only way to attain their even bigger rewards.

Vent the Steam

Ah, there's much humility to be had in trying to grasp the wisdom of God. While I still subscribe to the notion of staying focused on the positive and trying to block out the negative, I am realizing, through God's wonderful life-lessons, that things aren't always so black and white.

Today is the case in point: it was an intensely frustrating day. Work was incredibly busy and short-handed. And everything seemed to just go against how I needed or wanted them to go. Everything was testing my patience, from the dangerous commuter I encountered while on my way to work to the tedious projects my supervisor was making me address.

During all of the frustrating things that happened, I was able to maintain a decent attitude while I prayed dearly for ample patience from God. But I could feel it building and building; I could feel the possibility growing of lashing out at someone who didn't deserve it. I truly felt like a pressure cooker.

And then I got to my journal and was able to vent all of my frustrations. In text, anyway. And it helped quite a bit, although I didn't actually really feel joyful again until I talked with my bff. And although he and I didn't talk about all the junk that was annoying me, as those words were already said (to my journal), he lifted my spirits with jokes and fun.

So it is actually a good idea, from time to time when things go atrociously out of your favor, to vent your frustration. Journaling is wonderful and highly recommended, but nothing ever beats a good friend to help adjust your attitude.

The Defense of Innocence

It's funny how I just mentioned it yesterday, but my roommate was involved in the defense of innocence today. While on the bus, she witnessed someone being verbally attacked, and then physically so, by a large man with two cohorts. My roommate was the only one, initially, to come to the aid of this innocent man. She saw the innocent man was not provoking the big, angry man in any way. The angry man is the type of person who goes through life with a huge chip on his shoulder. He's the type that will pick on anyone weaker than him until that person gives him a reason to physically lash out.

While my roommate was unable to prevent the initial blow to the innocent man's face, she did take down the attacker via his weak leg. She has skills. The attacker and his two friends left.

So what's the point of today's story: 1.) my roommate is a bona fide hero, and 2.) even when the odds are not in your favor, it is one's moral obligation to stand up for innocence. My roommate was aided, after the initial exchanges, by another woman from the bus who also stood against evil. Good on them both.

While my roommate is furious that none of the men on the bus even attempted to help, I am going to spend my focus on what good came of it: an innocent person was spared further injury and my roommate set a wonderful example of what it means to live with a moral code.

Death and Taxes: The Quick Guide to Life

There is that old saying about how there are only two things you ever HAVE to do in this life: pay taxes and die. So true, so true...I really want my life to actually have some meaning to someone else. I want to know that I made the people around me better, as well as the world in general. So I thought, if I were no longer here, what message would I want to be my legacy? What would I want to make sure everyone understood. So I came up with this:

The Quick Guide to Life

1. Ease up on stressing over things. In the end, remember none of the little things matter.

2. Share as much joy as you possibly can each day, because it's all over sooner than you think. Laugh as freely as you can.

3. Just keep on keeping on. Take regular steps towards good and positive things for yourself, as well as others. Slow and steady wins the race, but be sure to take advantage of positive momentum.

4. Love each other as fully as possible, including strangers. Show love and compassion to all, and embrace the ones you love tightly.

5. Develop as fully as you can the skills, talents, and gifts God has blessed you with.

6. Always choose good and right things.

7. Explore all of God's creation with appreciation, awe, and proper respect.

8. Defend the innocent, even with your life.

9. Talk to God often. God will help you, even if you don't believe.

10. Play like a kid.

Perfect Day, Every Day

While my co-worker and I were looking out the window today, she said sarcastically, "It's beautiful out there." I'm not really sure why she was so displeased, but I think it had something to do with the cold temperature. Although, it could have been the clouds on the horizon. Or it could have been the emptying trees and litters of leaves. Regardless of why, she was displeased with what she saw out there.

But I turned to her and said, "Yes, actually, it is beautiful out there." In my tone, attitude and look, she saw that I meant it. It was then she understood that her attitude was a bit off, and then said, "Actually, I agree, it is." She's a pretty aware person, so she got what I meant.

Each day, no matter how cold, cloudy, windy, sunny, hot, foggy, etc., is perfect in and of itself. Each day is a unique gift from God. It's a wonderful thing that each day is special, different, and is full of surprises and possibilities.

ATTENTION, Y'ALL: Every single day you spend on this Earth is perfect, as it is truly a gift from God. Embrace that it is a perfect day, and it will be, as your life is entirely defined and influenced by your mental state. And be sure to embrace the joy, possibilities, and perfection that is each new day. Life is too short not to live.

The Promise of an Enlightened Society

I went for jury duty today, and unfortunately, I wasn't called to sit on a jury. I will have to wait patiently to be called again for the chance to get on my first jury.

While I was in the cafeteria getting a canister machine mocha (which had a hint of cinnamon and was actually pretty good), I went to the register to encounter a blind man as the cashier. Odd, I thought, but I went with it.

"Is someone there?" he asked. I guess I was too still.
"Yes, hi," I said.
"What do you have?" he asked.
"A mocha from the machine," I replied.
"What color cup?" he inquired. I was tickled by his question, but laughed on the inside.
"Red," I said.
"$2.75," he announced.
I handed him a five.
"What is this?" he asked.
"A five."
I took my change and bid him good day.

But how delightful that we can live in a society in which MOST people are good, decent, and honest. It is lovely. I stood there and watched a long while. Dozens of transactions later, it was the same story: every single person honestly announced the items they were purchasing as well as the denominations of the bills. I love seeing this kind of thing, where all people understand what is good and right and just do it as naturally as breathing. We are all good, each one of us. And I know society will get to a good, fair, and kind place. Just watch for the signs, they are everywhere.

The Lessons from A Christmas Carol

I am normally a firm believer in only starting on anything Christmas after Thanksgiving, but when my roommate suggested we see the new Disney remake of A Christmas Carol, I let my excitement for seeing the picture overcome my usual objection.

And I'm glad I did. We saw it in 3D and it was visually awesome. The advances they've made in computer generated images is amazing, especially in regards to textures and lighting. Pretty soon, they won't need live actors for anything, but I digress...

The story, for those who aren't familiar with this classic, is that this angry, wealthy, bitter, and greedy old man is visited by three ghosts that reveal the Christmas' of the past, present, and future of Scrooge's life. With a man of that caliber, you can imagine the bad things that were revealed to him. He heeded the warning, and turned good and found salvation. This movie got me to thinking--as everything does, as you know--that I am certainly not going to wait to face the abyss (be it damnation or other) before I start living fully in all ways. To do good and charitable things for others is a big part of one's salvation, but so is using all of what God has blessed you with wisely. Live fully, in every way, as you will inevitably face the abyss. Act now to conquer it then.

Focus = Observation + Wisdom

I enjoy thinking. I especially enjoy when I find even clearer ways to understand things. I was reflecting on focus the other day. I talk about it all the time and know how critically important it is to finding anything, including God, success, and happiness. But in thinking about focus, I realized that perfect focus is a marriage of observation and wisdom.

Any creature on Earth with eyes can observe. Observation is just the input of information. Colors, textures, temperatures, movement, etc...observation is the full record of input from all the senses at any one moment in time.

In order to achieve focus, however, one must bring clarity to what is being observed. One can only do this by fully exploring all meanings, implications, and possibilities, which are based in one's education--formal or not--and experience. Focus is fully observing all that is possible to observe, and then knowing what best to do with your observations, with aid of God's guidance via your conscience.

And that is what focus is all about, Charlie Brown. (Christmas is a-comin'!)

The Responsibility of Hope

A friend of mine has a problem nephew. Not to get into the details, but his nephew has had the kind of problems that have legal penalties and that caused him to be ostracized from the rest of his family. His nephew has nowhere to turn, as their entire family, including my friend, are still incredibly mad at him. And rightfully so.

But his nephew will truly have nowhere to go except back to the harmful people and ways that got him into the mess he is presently in. My friend, quite unfortunately, has to put aside all of his righteous anger and other feelings and reach out to his nephew. He must be a beacon of hope and provide the possibility of salvation for his nephew. There is no one else that can do it. He must provide the template for his nephew on what a real, good, and honest man looks like.

It's my friend's responsibility to do this for his nephew because he is family, and you must always take care of your family, no matter how difficult they make it. While this is true, this responsibility actually goes beyond kinship. The responsibility of hope lies with each and every one of us to ensure that none of us is ever left hopeless and lost. When you see someone in your life who appears to be living without hope, it is your moral obligation to reach out to them and let them know someone cares about them. You must put out a hand. They may embrace it or they may slap it away, but at least you have done your due diligence by God. We are all members of God's humanity, and as such, we must strive to love one another and share in hope. All for One.

So Much Potential

I was in my back yard yesterday, soaking in the relatively weak warmth from the late afternoon Autumn sun and looking around at my yard. It has issues. It has sections of hardpan dirt, remnants of what appeared to be a rock garden, several slopes, sheets of black weed-suppressing material under all of the flower beds (making new planting impossible until removed), and other issues such as a patchy lawn, an abundance of weeds, odd slabs of cement (that I still can't figure out what they were ever used for), and dozens of varieties of weeds. And that's just for starters. But I love it. I love it dearly, as ragged as it is. It has personality, character, and a nearly infinite amount of potential. And then the insight...

My beloved yard was a metaphor for us. I love my yard and appreciate it as it is, flawed and imperfect, but it is in the potential that the imagination runs wild. I can design my yard any way I want. It has so much potential, just like us. We are all none of us perfect. We are all ragged and issue-ridden the lot of us, regardless of how polished we may appear. But we all have potential, as long as we are still on this side of the grave, each and every one of us have unlimited potential, and God adores this in us. And blessed be this potential, for without it, there could be no hope for any of us. It is in this potential, this hope, that God waits patiently for us to get our individual, as well as collective, acts together. God will never give up on us as long as the potential is there that we can be saved, in any and every way. Thrive to impress God by trying to test the limits of your potential. I bet you will surprise yourself with all you can do. Go do good.

Thank You, Veterans!

Today is Veterans Day, an important American holiday. Today is the day which we turn our focus and deepest appreciation on the men and women who have ever served in the protection of our country. Without them, this country could not and truly would not exist. Thank God for giving some the courage to offer their lives for the defense of the good, safety, and well-being of the rest. They are all heroes, no matter their rank or station.

So today's lecture: go appreciate some vets! Do you know any military, active or not? Bake some brownies and take them some. Throw a vet apprecation party. Go to a parade. Take time to focus and express your apprecation for their sacrifice for you. They have my deepest respect and appreciation. Happy Veterans Day!

The More Things Change...

I have spent a good portion of my adult life trying to noodle out the old saying, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." I could not wrap my mind around it because it just seemed like an obvious oxymoron. But today, I received the insight necessary to understand its meaning:

Change is the natural order of the universe.

God created our universe via the Big Bang with momentum, obviously. That momentum is what makes collisions so that variations in all things could occur. Along with the four forces, which include gravity, those variations maintain momentum. All things are either perpetually evolving and changing or becoming extinct. The universe doesn't seem too fond of equilibrium or maintaining a status quo.

God created the universe with the full intention that it constant changes and evolves. Either things will grow into bigger and better things, or they will be rendered useless and die off. (Which is a good and useful inspirational message in itself.)

I used to get so uptight about things changing and the loss of physical items. But nowadays I don't fret none. I don't stress so much over the things now I understand are actually insignificant in the grand scheme. (You really don't take it with you.) And I don't worry about changing, about getting old, about events that will change my life, as these are the natural order of things. I no longer frustratingly tolerate change, I now accept it fully and even embrace it with an eagerness of possibility. God has blessed us with a wonderful adventure. Embrace it!

Next Step for Society: Eliminate the Radicals

This last Thursday, Nidal Malik Hasan shouted "Allahu akbar!" (Allah is great) as he shot 12 innocent people to death and wounded 31 others.  Was he a Muslim terrorist in Iraq or Afganistan?  Nope.

He was a Major and psychiatrist in the U.S. Army and a Muslim terrorist, who went on his killing spree at Fort Hood in Texas.  I know many of you are well aware of this story, but it is worth repeating that he was in the Army and that it was here, in the United States.  And, yes, this was a terrorist attack, obviously, as all Islamic extremists shout the same thing Hasan did when they go on their suicide and terrorist missions.  Even if he wasn't associated with Al-Qaeda or other terrorist organization, he danced the same dance and sang the same song.  And when it walks like a duck...

It is quite unfortunate that the media seem not to be addressing this murderous rampage as terrorism, as they still covet the trophy of political correctness, as ridiculous and out-dated as that is.  Instead of an Islamic terrorist, it was a "gunman."  You can't anger the Muslims, for heaven's sake!  Even when their own are killing innocent people around the globe and generally making life as unpleasant as possible for those who don't agree them.

There is nothing that is slowing the progress of the civilization of our global society more than radicals.  Because of communication and technology, our planet will inevitably become unified in very significant ways, most likely within the next several decades.  But this can only occur via total international cooperation, which will protect mutual best interests as well as protect the environment.  In a world of fewer and fewer secrets and where people are learning that there actually is enough to go around for every person on this planet, we will find that peaceful coexistence is the only way for any person or group to get what they desire in any measure.  Unfortunately, our global society still has a ways to go before mutual cooperation is universal, as we still have quite a few radicals fighting against this progress.

Although Muslims aren't the only radicals that our global society needs to eliminate, they are presently the most dominant of the lot.  But there are extremists in just about all things people believe in, from Christianity (and all other faiths) to abortion (both sides) to environmental protection to political views.  And they all need to be eliminated.  Not killed, necessarily, but controlled and monitored in order to mitigate possible damage they may seek to inflict.  Do I believe in killing radicals?  Yes, but only if all other methods of control prove ineffective.

You may ask yourself: doesn't controlling the radicals get into uncomfortable areas, like taking away personal freedoms?  No, not at all.  As long as an individual (or group) is proven to partake in radical activities that, either intentionally or accidentally, harm the rights and/or well being of innocent people, then they have absolutely no place in polite society and waive any claim to the rights that polite society has created for itself.  You can't be on both sides of the same fence simultaneously.

Our planet will inevitably be one society, one global community, but we still have quite a bit to learn about cooperative living and mutual respect before that happens.  And in order for our planet to transition into this new era, the next and most significant step we need to take is to remove the radicals.  Godspeed to the good guys.

Do You Do More Than Wait for Death?

It is unfortunate, and rather frustrating, that I have to continue asking myself the above question.  The follow-up question is also important: what are you doing today that will make tomorrow different, especially in areas in which you are displeased?  I must also remind myself that I can't complain about certain things if I never get off my booty to do anything to affect their changes.

So today's message is a short, but important, reminder for you to ask yourself if you are using each day to build on the accomplishments of the previous in order to facilitate the desired changes in your life, or are you just waiting to die?  It's good to ask this of yourself so bluntly, as it brings a starkness and immediacy to your inaction.  I know it does for me, as it reminds me that I only have a limited amount of time to accomplish anything--and everything.  That's enough to get me back to living.  Live well, my friends.

Practice the Three Expressions of Joy

One of my sisters wisely pointed out to me the other day that the three expressions of joy are singing, dancing, and laughing, and that it is a shame people don't do more of the first two.  People really tend to shy away from singing and dancing for fear of what others may think.  And I agree, it is a shame.

I have a customer at work who our unit has aptly nicknamed "Dancing Man," because before and after--and sometimes during--our interactions with him, he dances.  He's not crazy, he has an mp3 player, but he just lets loose and goes with the music.  Whenever I see him come into the office, I get a smile on my face.  Dancing Man brings joy.  And although he get looks or comments from people from time to time, he still embraces his self-expression, which is pretty cool and very admirable. 

I have a special appreciation for dance, as it is the most demanding of the three expressions of joy.  I began watching So You Think You Can Dance last season, and if you don't already watch it, you must.  It is art.  If I could have figured out how to show this on my blog, I would have, but this was one of my favorite routines from last season:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJGmSUN0wMo.  It's awesome.

So live life as fully as you can, and express your joy!  Laugh, sing and dance as much as you can, as you only have so much time left to do so.  Embracing joy means embracing God.  Truly.

Focus on the Feedback from Others

I was in Starbucks this morning, tiredly trying to get through my drink order; I was on auto-pilot. I thought I was being pleasant during my interaction with the barista, but as he handed me my change he said, "I hope your day gets better."

Wow. I woke up, but a little too late. I only then realized that I was being a bit of a downer, although it was totally unintentional. I thought I was nice enough to the barista, although I truthfully wasn't paying enough attention to remember. It was only after getting a reality check from someone outside my own head did I realize my attitude was a bit off. That was my wake up call for the day, and I really sought after that to be courteous, friendly and attentive to anyone with whom I interacted. That response from the barista was the feedback I needed to get myself in check.

So today's lesson is that it's a good idea to actually pay attention to how other people are responding and interacting with you. In addition to listening attentively, look for more subtle signs of emotional discord in their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. These all give clues as to how the other person is receiving and processing you in his or her head. So pay attention to their reactions and adjust yourself as needed to maximize good relations and mutual well being.

Ah, I learn more and more of the obvious every day thanks to focus. Be well.

Charity Begins at Home

Someone in my family is struggling a bit. I am far from wealthy, but I was able to scrape together a little assistance for this person. And I am more than pleased to do so. Truly.

This, along with yesterday's checking in on my brother, got me thinking about the importance of charity. Doing acts of charity is crucial for the good of one's soul, and I love doing them. So to do acts of charity for family members is doubly beneficial for me, because in addition to finding joy in them, I can also see the good I do being appreciated and used wisely. And as long as there are real and important needs within my own family, I am morally obligated to start my charity with them.

Be good, kind, and charitable to all in this world, but make sure your family's basic needs are sated first. Give them your attention and focus, and then any assistance you might offer, whether it is financial help or emotional support or helping with overwhelming chores. Like my beloved Grandma used to say, "charity begins at home." I am only now appreciating how wonderfully important that saying is.

My Brother's Keeper

I am my brother's keeper. Or rather, we are, as the rest of my family luckily shares this responsibility.

My brother is a good, honest and decent guy. But he has problems with habits and emotional issues. And he has a long history of disconnecting completely from the rest of the family for good periods of time. The one blessing is that he has never once missed being with us all at Christmas. And that's wonderful, although there was one year when Christmas was the only time we saw him. But the past is history...

Because my brother's phone has been disconnected for two weeks now, I decided to call his work, at which time I found out through his co-worker that he had been off of work for three weeks because of a broken clavicle. So after work, I drove to his apartment and found him in decent shape, considering the broken bone and huge bruise from his bicycle accident.

He told me the tale of his injury, and that he took the bus to the hospital. He told me that it occurred to him while sitting in the examining room that had he picked up the phone, he could have had four rides to the hospital gratis. Him telling me this told me two things: first, that we are getting into his heart finally. At least it occurred to him at some point that his family would be there for him, which is an improvement from the past where we wouldn't cross his mind at all. Second, that we still have a ways to go with my brother in getting him deeply connected with the rest of the family. I want him to always keep in mind that his family will help him with anything and should be the first place to turn for help.

The problem is that he obviously doesn't have our love and concern for him in mind. He feels like he is facing this world alone, which is heart-breakingly sad, because it is far from true. But because he does feel that way, we must continue reaching out to him and share with him our love and concern as as often as possible. My brother feels alone in this world, so it is our responsibility as his family to be there for him. Is it hard to continue to reach out to someone who does nothing but pull away? Sure. But it is both our responsibility and our privilege. He's a great guy, beneath it all.

Language is Culture

At work today, I overheard a conversation in the lobby. But because it was in a foreign language, all I heard were a few familiar consonants and vowel sounds sprinkled among the melody coming from their mouths. And then I heard the word "online."

I laughed to myself at first, but then it got me thinking about language. The only way people can communicate or even deal with one another at all is by having a common language. Language is the primary facilitator in uniting people, the essence of culture. And when people interact more and more, whether out of desire or necessity, a common language inevitably results. Telephones, televisions, and computers have connected most people on this planet. Our modern technology has recently created a global community. A common language is only a matter of time.

With technology and other inventions suddenly being released globally, many languages do not have the chance to go through the natural development of a new word for a new item. Instead, when an English speaker creates the internet so that one can go "online," the terms are in place already. The terms were introduced to the entire society at essentially the same time, so at what point could a new word in the native tongue have developed? The deed is done. English, thanks to technology, has infiltrated other languages.

And as time goes on, there are going to be more and more new words for new technologies and so there are going to be more and more universal words. Eventually, out of necessity, everyone will need to speak the universal language. And that is a good thing, as it will, in fact, unite all people. And I know that will facilitate much good and be pleasing to God.


p.s. I still predict the universal language will be English, because of its momentum.

Stuck in First Gear?

I know I've been. It's not that I'm not working toward my goals, it's just that I'm doing so a little too sporadically. At the pace I'm at now, I won't attain my goals in decades. And that's a problem.

Today, I set my mind to be productive all day, and for the most part, I was. I got quite a bit accomplished on several different things I'm working on. To mix things up, I intentionally spent only 20-30 minutes on a task before switching, which also helped in keeping me equipped with fresh eyes for each project. My fresh approach for the day was successful in many ways.

Here are a few (hopefully useful) anecdotal tips for shifting into second gear:

1. Start with focus - focus on how you want things to be and all of the wonderful feelings associated with accomplishing your goal. Remind yourself often of this, exhausting the benefits.

2. And then more focus - focus on the next step in your goal, assessing what resources you will need and the easiest way to get it accomplished.

3. Turn to God - listen to God's guidance through your conscience during your journey. Stay focused on doing good and right things.

4. Expand your circle - if you can't seem to figure out a way to get to the next step of your goal, expand your circle of knowledge and connections. Do research in libraries, as well as online. Build your network and reach out to those who may know. Seek help, advice, and encouragement from others. Most will be happy to oblige.

5. Set time frames - make sure you give each step toward your goal its own deadline. Strive to finish the step before the deadline, but forgive yourself if it takes you a bit longer.

6. Set your schedule - commit yourself to spend some time each day working toward your goal, even if it's just five minutes. Feel free to allow flexibility in when during the day you take your five minutes.

7. Start small - begin with the easiest tasks. It will help build confidence and momentum.

8. Mix it up - switch from task to task as often as you want to minimize tedium and to provide fresh eyes.

9. Realize the truth - life is short, and the only way you will ever have what you envision in your goals is by doing the work necessary to make them reality. Do not waste time. There's only one way to live life, and that's to live it. Fully.

C'est la vie!

I find myself saying, "we'll see what happens," more and more. It's my own personal take on the French saying about rolling with the punches. We all must accept life has its ups and downs, lest we drive ourselves crazy with frustration in trying to control it or make sense of the whys.

The older I get, the wiser I grow, as I find myself worrying less and less about the ridiculous details of life that I found as priorities in my youth. Part of this is maturing and prioritizing my goals, time, and other resources, but a larger part of it comes from my trust in God.

Granted, my faith wavers as it does for most people, but I do stay firm in my assurance that God will take good care of my soul after I die. When you leave everything after life to God, you obviously leave it in good hands. And that faith gives me wonderful comfort in this life that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. Because, what's the worst possible scenario: you die and be with God? That's a good and positive thought. So thanks to God, I can take life as it comes, come what may. And that comfort makes me want to sing out: c'est la vie!

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover

I had a customer at work today who, at first glance, would appear to most people as dirty, boorish, and ignorant white trash. Those thoughts did flash into my mind, but I squashed them as fast as they entered, as I truly want to treat this gentleman as well as I would like to be treated. After speaking with him for a few minutes, I found him to be pleasant, well-mannered, and quite bright. His appearance belies his demeanor and character. The cover of his book didn't match the story. Or did it?

This apparent oxymoron got me to thinking about stereotypes. Stereotyping is one of the ways we prejudge people. Stereotyping is not bad in and of itself, as it is just a shorthand way for our minds to sort and compartmentalize the almost seven billion other people on this planet. It is how far people take the stereotypes of others that causes all of the problems. Stereotypes, as offensive as some may find this, are always based in reality, although how much ranges from anecdotal observations to actually being present in a large majority of the population in question.

Keep in mind that it is natural to judge people by appearances, as it helps us to determine threat level, for instance. And although it is much quicker and takes less focus to just stereotype everybody, you disrespect the God-given beauty of each individual person when you do. Just remember, although the book's cover may look disease-ridden and be falling apart, the story could be sublime.

Prayers for Others

There was wonderful news from the medical consult my bff had today: he's going to be fine! I am thrilled, although I kinda knew he would be.

I speak to God often, and sometimes God responds quite clearly. I had been praying and deeply concerned (aka worried) for my friend's worst case scenarios. Each time I would get into deep fret, even in tears, God would snap me back to attention: he's going to be fine. The message was clear. But I would fall back into fretting and carrying on in concern for my friend when I would let myself slip into doubt that what God shared with me was true. Worry is essentially weakness of faith. No not ever doubt the power of prayer, or in God.

When we pray for others, God listens acutely. God loves the attention and concern for others. And those prayers for others, God takes them on as God's own positive affirmations. Prayers out of love and concern for others are deeply embraced by God. And although our wishes may not fit into the grand scheme, God loves the intent nonetheless.

Be sure to thank God when the outcome you prayed for happens. God may have been directly responsible, but even if not, what does it hurt? Thanking God only re-enforces your trust in God, as well as strengthens your relationship with God.

My friend is going to be fine, thanks to the prayers of all who love him. And all thanks to God.

Baby Steps to Success

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -- Lao-tsu

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I'm trying to learn Spanish. I took some in high school and in college, but never even approached fluency. Now, with my relatively recent spiritual awakening, I know that, with God, all things are possible.

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I have Spanish textbooks that I have been studying, but the most useful materials have been the Pimsleur series on CD. I listen to it in my car whenever I drive anywhere alone and have so far been able to get through 40 of the 90 total Spanish lessons, each being 20-30 minutes long. I have had to listen to some of the lessons 3 or 4 times (or more) to make sure I was ready for the next lesson, which builds on the prior. Each lesson only covers a couple new concepts and introduces only a few new words and phrases. But they add up. One by one. Until one day...blammo, I'm fluent.

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Today, as I was commuting home, I has rambling off a response to one of the questions in Spanish and started to laugh to myself at how complex the ideas were that I could say and understand. Granted, I'm still far from fluent, but I couldn't have imagined a few months ago how much Spanish I can speak and understand now. The idea of possibly being fluent in Spanish wasn't even on my radar, even when I started back to studying the language. It was only today that I now know that I have it in me to be fluent. I have no doubt that I will be fluent in Spanish soon(ish). Weird. But wonderful. And it all started with simply trying. It began with finding the materials, opening my ears and mind, and beginning with lesson one.

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Any goal you can possibly imagine truly is attainable, but you can't finish a race you don't enter. Just remember: even the longest journey must being where you stand. Just picture your goal, and take the tiniest step in getting it accomplished. And then another...

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Godspeed.

Everything Happens for a Reason

All thinking folk struggle with the meaning to life. And when things happen, especially undesirable things, we seek to know why. Many of us turn to God and ask why such things have to happen. Occasionally, the silence some encounter when turning to God frustrates us into giving up, either on life, on God, or both. But there is an answer: it's all about the right perspective.

One of my co-workers was commenting in recent weeks about how frustrated she was that homeowners' association where she lives decided to cut down the tree right next to her condo. The tree was a comfort to her, providing wonderful shade and additional privacy for the windows on that side of her home. It was a real source of frustration for her that the tree was removed.

But, with time, her perspective changed. She now finds the sunshine wonderfully uplifting. She greatly enjoys looking outside the windows, where she now sees the lovely blue skies that were previously hidden by the tree. It turns out, she is pleased as punch that the tree was removed. Once her perspective turned toward finding the positive in the situation, she found her attitude about the situation change entirely, for the better.

Although I know God puts into motion many of our lessons, sometimes part of the lesson is that it is left to us to find the reason something happens. And there is almost always something significantly good that comes from anything. With enough focus, you can study any situation and find something good and useful that comes of it, even if it's in the form of valuable education, personal growth, or simply life experience, remembering that experience is the incubator of wisdom. Everything really does have reason, although you may have to find that reason for yourself. Reflect until you find what you seek. The answer is there.

How to Deal with Crazy People

The recent activities of my sister's ex-husband got me to thinking about 'crazy,' and how to deal with it. By 'crazy' I mean someone who is unpredictable, unreasonable, illogical, distressed, and potentially dangerous, to themselves or others. So I came up with these ideas, for what they're worth:


1. Protect yourself first - be sure all are out of the way of any physical threat.

2. Avoid contact as much as possible - think of ways to limit or avoid time you may have to see each other in person. Protect the innocent by isolating them from the crazy person as much as legally possible. When being barraged by crazy e-mails: send a final e-mail telling that person any and all further e-mails from them will just go in the garbage and then follow through on this by sending their e-mails directly to the junk mail folder. Screen all phone calls and do not let the innocent talk to the crazy person for longer than is absolutely and really necessary.

3. Set boundaries - this means defining in both time and space what is acceptable from the crazy person. No interactions outside your comfortable boundaries will be tolerated. And mean it.

4. Do not entertain the crazy - when you do have to interact with a crazy person, do not give any credence at all to what they are telling you. Assume every word is a lie. Cut the interaction off as soon as possible. Say with the tone of your voice that you are not going to take crap. And do not internalize what the crazy person says, no matter how close to the bone it cuts. Crazy people need to be neutralized, then pitied. Maintain reality and give yourself occasional reality checks to make sure you're not being colored by the crazy person. Run your thoughts by someone you trust, if needed.

5. Stall - put off the crazy person as much as possible. Some honest false hope (I love oxymorons!) can go a long way in buying yourself time.

6. Minimize casualties and damages - this is the mop up. Tend to the needs of the victims and repair any immediate damages. Then, when you have more time, work on longer term fixes. Make it your mission to eliminate any and all impact the crazy person has on your life. Talk through the issues with those affected, as well as those close to you, and trying to understand why the crazy person is doing what he or she is doing. Explore ideas on how to best neutralize, and then counteract, the crazy. Sometimes, you must be proactive and explore ways to thwart the crazy person in order to prevent future interaction and damage.

7. Pray and reflect - dig deep with God and you will find all of the strength and courage you need to do what you need to do. God is the ultimate resource.


I'm no psychiatrist, but this seems like a good approach in dealing with crazy people. If you have more ideas on dealing with crazy people, please post them here:

Focus on the Seasons

Another blog about focus? Yep, it's that important. But this time I'm going to just share with you my recent focus and appreciation of the seasons.

I was standing in my back yard this morning looking around at the vivid blue sky and the trees of different varieties. I was focused on nature and my surroundings. I could see how wet the ground still was from rain we received last week. The water is not evaporating because the sun's energy just isn't heating up the ground enough for that to happen. The sun itself felt weaker than it did in the recent Summer months. I noticed the difference. I noticed how much lower in the sky the sun is. I noticed different trees lose their leaves in different patterns. I noticed my roses stay alive longer in the Autumn than they did in the hot Summer months. I noticed some plants thrive in the mild temperatures of this time of year and are just now starting to bloom.

For me, experiencing the seasons is one of the best things about being alive. Each season has a different feel, different weather and temperatures, different possible activities, different holidays and get-togethers, different look, and different options for growth. The seasons are wonderful. The fact that our planet experiences the seasons as it does is one of the things I use to re-affirm my knowledge that God is real. Seasonality is just a beautifully nuanced gift from God. Thank you, God.

The Reasons for Growing Out My Hair

I have a long history of control issues. Anyone who knows me knows how I have been. I am really striving nowadays, however, to let things go and just accept when things are different from the way I want them or expect them to be.

This is part of the reason I am growing out my hair: to allow for things to be out of my control and for that to be okay. When I was a teenager, I had to have every hair in place and actually used a lot of hair spray, as embarrassing as that is to admit. So now, being in my mid- to late-thirties, I have pushed outside of my comfort zone and decided to let my hair grow. I have not brushed or combed my hair in months. And there are days when I feel like a vagabond, but that discomfort is a lesson in acceptance for me and is important for my personal growth.

I used to be so judgemental and critical of guys with long hair, especially my nephew. Several years ago, I cut his hair because his mother told me that she was going to make sure he had a haircut before he went back to school. And because he was rebellious and seemed to be out of control for my sister, I decided to "help" her deal with the situation and cut it for him. Of course, in retrospect, I know it was wrong and I am deeply ashamed to have crossed the line like that. It still bugs me, even though my nephew has long since forgiven me and his hair is even longer now than it was back then. So the other main reason for growing my hair out is my own personal penance. I need to put myself in the place that will help me relate and understand what it means and feels like to have long, crazy hair, something I have disliked most of my life. It is therapy for the critical nature I used to have.

The third, and least important, reason for growing out my hair is that I am going to Ireland next year. I want to have Irish hair, with its natural curls and waves, in Ireland. I want to stand on the Cliffs of Moher and feel the Irish wind blow through my Irish hair. I'm aware this is as trivial as it gets, but in a small way, it's a nod to my roots and ancestry. That and the tattoo I plan to get while I'm there of the word "Ireland" across my entire back. I kid, of course. Although I'm actually thinking a reasonable tattoo might also be a lesson in the same way growing my hair out is, since I've also had a thing against tattoos, too. Ah, still so many lessons to learn...

The 'Why' to Life Lies in Rainbows and Roses

I saw a beautiful rainbow this week. It was full, and actually almost a full double bow, which are pretty rare. It was wonderfully uplifting, simply joyous. When I saw it, the puzzle came together. Or at least I found another piece to explain the 'why' of it all.

I have a great appreciation for the process and the lengths God went to in order to create us. God made sure Earth was the right size and around the right size star, and orbiting at a safe distance at a safe speed. God made sure our planet was tilted at the right angle and has a moon, which along with affecting our tides keeps us tilted on our axis, which is what gives us our seasons. God made sure we had the right combination of all of the elements to create and sustain life and a thriving global ecosystem.

God then, once we finally evolved into upright and thinking beasts, split us off toward different areas of the globe, to evolve our own languages and cultures, as well as variations in our physical appearances. Our history leads us to where we are today. And where exactly is that?

The pinnacle of creation. God created the universe and the elements it contains so that they could be combined in such a way as to create life. And as life evolves, it has become sentient. It has the ability to reflect, to philosophize, and to be aware of where all of the raw materials of which we are made come from: God. We are where it begins. God created life for where it goes from here. And although we have been around for eons, evolving, humanity has just now come to a place where we know and appreciate concepts like conscience, kindness, art, tenderness, laughter, community, appreciation, family, beauty, joy, and love. These are the things that connect the created to the creator. These are the providence of the divine, of God. And these are the things that God is looking through to connect with us. God is reaching out...every time you find deep appreciation of the fresh perfumes and beauty of a vibrant rose.

For Some, Ignorance Really is Bliss

My vocation is to love God and philosophize. Those are the things that drive me. I want knowledge, I want answers, and I want to understand God and the universe as fully as possible. I enjoy learning and get excited about knowing the previously unknown.

But for some, thinking is hard. Thinking takes time, and energy. Thinking is best done as little as possible, as too much of it could...well, it's best not even to think about it. Some people, even some who are bright, willfully choose to stay ignorant and reside in a bubble, because bubbles are comfortable and safe.

But when a thinking person interacts with a willfully ignorant one...well, the potential for frustration on both sides is tremendous. One of the people I work with is rather bright, but willfully and blissfully ignorant. I see the intelligence in her, spark up conversations, but then the conversation curtails as the subject matter gets too deep or too real. There are times I just want to shake her so she'll snap out of it, but of course, that's not nice. Instead, I turn to God's calming wisdom: love and respect her as she is, she's not harming anyone. Sage advice, indeed.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up and excited about different ideas about life, the universe, and everything (the answer: 42) that I think others would be excited about them, or at least find them mildly interesting. But willfully ignorant people shun being sparked by information or new ideas. And that's...okay. I must respect that choice and just appreciate everything else they have to offer. With proper focus, you can love anybody. And who am I, anyways, to deny anyone their bliss? Bliss is wonderful. God is wonderful.

The Joyous Umbrella of Denial

I have been asking God lately why I've been in this funk. Not depression, but not clarity. Kinda like being lost at the mall, but where you can only get so lost, ya know?

Today, at work, God pulled me out of my train of thought to listen to what I was thinking. And it was all negative, all down on myself, all reinforcing hopelessness...oy vey! I saw with this fresh perspective that I was feeding the negative wolf inside me with each thought. And I was entertaining the hopeless feelings as if they were reality. God showed me that the only time there is no hope left in this life is when it is over. I have been subject to the rain of negativity because I totally forgot my Joyous Umbrella of Denial, or JUD, if you will.

One of the simplest ways to avoid things you don't want bugging your brain is to brush any and all hints of that thought coming to mind before it sets roost. So to practice this, I imagine myself holding a strong and trusty umbrella--of joy--and just watch the negative thoughts bounce off the umbrella and away from me. It's just a visualization to help me in my quest to stay more positive. I also use affirmations like, "I'm done with negativity," or "I'm better than this," or "I got this," or "Hi, God." This last one reminds me to stay focused on good and positive things because I know God is watching. It also sparks dialogue with God, when I seek guidance.

The affirmations greatly fortifies the JUD and defends against any onslaught of negative thoughts, when I remember to use it. But the underlying important thing is to not entertain negative thoughts for even a split second. Because once they get settled...

Fasting and Sacrifice

The concept is common amongst the world's religions: give of yourself until you feel it. Fasting and other forms of sacrifice and self-deprivation are universally acknowledged sources of penance, but are also opportunities of prayer, meditation, and appreciation through focus.

When you deprive yourself of something, say food, for example, you become much more focused on it. You dwell on the need for it and build on your appreciation for it, including being thankful to God that you are blessed to have perpetual access to it and for all of the wonderful flavors. When you fast, you build up anticipation, too, for when you do finally eat. Fasting is also a great time to pray. For starters, it gets you focused on something other than hunger :). But really, it's a prime time to get in tune with God. When you are fasting, hunger ends up getting your full attention. Turn that full attention toward communication with God.

Sacrifice, even in the short term, like going around your house for 30 minutes with your eyes fully closed to appreciate your sight, helps build your ability to focus and appreciate on the gifts God has given you. Sacrifice, in all its meaningful expressions, also shows God that you mean business, that you set out to remind yourself, e.g. through fasting, that you truly appreciate and focus on your blessings.

I do know that God accepts fasting and sacrifice as penance for sins, but any and all details of that are completely left to God. But regardless, what does it hurt if it gets you to focus and appreciate things in your life?

Fasting and sacrifice are also great ways to increase the joy in your life. Stop watching television for a week. Fast for 24 hours. Don't use the computer for two days. Go without coffee for 6 hours. Okay, I've gone too far, but you get the idea. And after you go some time without something that may have been omnipresent in your life, you will find great joy when it is back in your life. And a new level of appreciation.

Try this. You'll be better for it.

What You Don't Take Care of...

...you lose.

My Grandma used to say this to me, and my five siblings, quite often growing up. When I was young, however, all I attached to that saying was that she was going to take something away from me. But nowadays, as I spend more time philosophizing and reflecting, and living, I am actually beginning to understand what she meant by that.

A most recent case in point: my teeth. I haven't been the most avid of flossers over the last six months. And my dentist knew this. It was evident in the exam results, and, also, because I told him. I had three--yes, three!--cavities in my mouth. And where were those teeth decaying? All three of my cavities were located between my teeth. Odd parallel between the frequency of my not flossing and the increase in cavities. I rarely get cavities, so to have three in one visit means I've been an especially vigilant non-flosser. My lesson learned will include a penance of gum injections, drilling, and a sore and numb mouth. Perhaps I will have learned my lesson this time and will begin flossing once a day, like the dentist suggested. Perhaps.

So to bring it full circle, I didn't take care of my teeth, partially, and so I lost them partially. My Grandma's theorem holds up. (She was a wise and beautiful soul, and I miss her dearly.) Now the converse of this equation also holds true: what you do take care of, you keep. Keep this in mind especially in dealing with relationships. Give focus and attention to those people and things you admit are important in your life. Don't risk losing them, give them your love.

The Snap of God's Proverbial Fingers

Every time my focus strays in making good choices and I disconnect from God, God is always there to snap me back into line. Although I haven't been disconnected from God lately, I certainly wasn't putting my all into feeling the closeness. Which is why God gave me a sign. A sign that said not to worry. A sign that said trust that God will see to it that good things happen. A sign that said God is still with me and loves me plenty. A sign that said to stay on track, as God has a plan. The sign: the solution to my electrical problem.

This morning, I set out to see if I could fix the electrical issue we have been having in the house the last few months before I had to break down and call a professional. After finding which jumper in the fuse box went to the rooms that were having the electrical problem, I took it off to find it burnt out a little, like it had malfunctioned and sparked or something. I'm not an electrician, obviously. The funny thing is that directly above the one I took off, which was at the very bottom and most easily accessible, was a jumper that the electrician I hired last Fall had labeled "Spare." When I saw that before, I just thought for some reason that it meant spare bedroom. But then I noticed it didn't have any wires attached to it; it was a spare, a spare jumper. Could it be that easy? I thought about that for a minute. Could it really be that easy? I thought about it and accepted that, yes, it could be. I plugged in the wire from the bad jumper I had removed, turned back on the power, and shazam, we have steady and non-flickering power. Success!

When I started reflecting on how easy the solution to this long-standing problem was, how it was literally the easiest--and cheapest--solution there possibly was for the problem, I knew God was trying to tell me something. And as soon as I re-focused on trying to listen to God, I was back in communication with God. It was the snap back to attention that I needed.

I share with you: if you are looking for a sign from God, just open your heart and increase your focus. When you are truly open to God, you will see signs, the signs you need, all around you.

The Dawn of Civilization

Some scholars hypothesize that the dawn of the civilization of humans began around 10,000 years ago, in the Fertile Crescent in the Middle East. That is when people began settling, developing agriculture, domesticating animals, and creating communities. While those steps forward for humanity were crucial in getting us to where we are currently, those times were far from civilized. There were no laws, no protection, and people were still rather feral. What humans had back then was not civilization.

But people grew, developed, and changed. They created things, first out of necessity, then out of ability. Education and art came along, and inventions--first a trickle, then a flood--as people began learning from one another. Our current society is built on millions of inventions because people learned from each other and/or worked together.

Mass media and the current communication options has united this planet. We no longer have to wait for 6 months or more for news to circle the globe, as we have in our past. With the internet, webcams, video cameras, cell phones, satellites, thousands of television channels, radio, newspapers, etc. we are connected and can literally see what's going on at this very moment in many different places around the globe. We have been permanently united as one people, thanks to technology and ingenuity.

Because of this unity, humankind is just now really starting figure out who we are as a species. The culmination of our communication advances in conjunction with the overall advances in human rights, education, general health, medicine, and social and political tolerances is bringing on a new, world-wide culture. One that will eventually have a common language (I vote for English), although it might take centuries. Or maybe as soon as two generations. Who knows.

The point is, our world is united, and there is a swelling of consciousness out there that sees that we all need to get along, help each other when we can, and strive to preserve our planet. There is a common knowledge, I think, that this in indeed the dawning of a whole new era for humanity. There is a sense, too, that spirituality is getting its own new dawn, one that embraces the sciences, instead of battles with them. God is truth, and people are waking up to this fact and embracing that God plays a big role (not roll--hi elod) in our goings on.

So my hypothesis is that the dawn of civilization is now. And I see the signs that we are actually ready to be civilized, as one people. Hold onto your hats, because now that we are worldwide, technology and other advances are going to increase exponentially at a pace that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The future is going to be wild.